Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Buttoned Up Tight

Not all is lost; the Personal Assistant gig is still in the pipe line, who knew? Last Friday I received a call from my recruiter informing me that my presence is required for ROUND THREE of interviews however they would like me to be more “polished”. In the recruiting world the word polished is used to avoid the ever lingering threat of a lawsuit brought on by illegal hiring practices based on candidates’ looks and perceived socio economical level. The label of “Polished” is usually allocated to candidates who are attractive, conservatively dressed, sport perfectly coifed shiny hair, employ non “regional” vocal patterns, oh and of course own a strand of pearls. Really…really? Well my competition though rather dull is “polished” so the client is battling her internal struggle…me = charming and funky, competition= stuffy and polished…which should she choose?

This Sunday following my recruiter's advise to “wear a tailored business suit “, I popped onto the Q32 for a leisurely ride to Bloomingdales, Saks 5th Ave., Lord and Taylor and if all else failed, final destination Macy’s. I am a shopper, I love shopping, I may actually shop a wee bit too much, but buying a business suit was so far out of my predefined constructs of ‘shopping’ that I found myself at a total loss. Bloomingdale’s was a bust, I bought a gray Calvin Klein dress with a cropped jacket that resembled something from the “People’s Army”, Saks had 2 suits to choose from (one black one blue) with rectangular jackets and skirts that hit below my calf …nice look. Lord and Taylor had a ton of suits but none of them were “me”. I felt like one of those ladies on What Not To Wear who break down and cry in the stores because they do not know what is “right”. I looked, I circled, I picked up things then returned them to the rack…I was totally lost. It took all I had NOT to pull out my credit card and scoop up the candy colored new spring arrivals but I knew better and persevered while holding firmly to the belief that it is much easier for me to don preppy attire than for my competition to generate an entire new personality. So with the attentive help of my dressing room attendant, Marcy, I exited with an awful brownish, blackish, grayish tweed suit with a cream shell. Ughhhh. Could feel less me?

At the completion of this arduous task I paused briefly at the fine jewelry counter to slip on my gloves and tie my scarf in a jaunty knot however a giant red sign drew my attention, All Pearls 80% Off. Wholly cow, it was a sign…well yes it was actually a physical sign stating the sale but it was also a metaphysical SIGN. Something was begging me to buy the pearls, whispering softly in my ear, “If You Buy Them, Jobs Will Come”. So even though I am on a strict PB&J budget I plunked down my L & T card and scooped up my first real strand of pearls. Upper East Side here I come…fingers crossed that I can pull this one off.

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