Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Refocused Energy

With the weight of the responsibly to my online paid dating subscriptions removed I found myself overflowing with creative juices. Instead of filling my time futilely searching for a date I have been utilizing my newly discovered freedom to rebuild a relationship that I had left to dwindle; the relationship between me and my one bedroom rent stabilized 1929 fourth floor walk up.

Next month marks our 11th anniversary however the blush has faded from the bloom. We’ve been through a lot together, parties, break ins, trysts, and vermin infestation but through it all my rent has only increased 3% each year so it is hard to say adieu to such a bargain. However as I have grown and improved with age (turning 39 in a month – yikes!) my humble abode has been crumbling beneath me. My kitchen, always the bane of my existence, running a close second to my bathroom, has borne the brunt of my absenteeism. The combined issues of my lack of culinary skills and the fact that the darken interiors of some of my cabinets frighten me so that I have never opened them has kept me removed from tackling this epic eyesore.

Last week however armed with a steadfast passion to reignite my habitat lustfest I hit the The Container Store, The Home Depot, Marshalls, TJMaxx, Target, and JC Penny. Oh sweet home improvement tasks I have missed you so. The living room scored with a new rug, seat cushions, drapes and curtain rod. I even replaced the poorly worn pull cords on my sea grass roller shade, framed several of my photographs, and set some useless furniture pieces into the stairwell for “adoption”. The hallway and bedroom received new art as well, while the bathroom got a spa like makeover. White rugs and shower curtains with white wooden louvered blinds, ahhhh. But the true fruit of my week’s worth of hard labor can be found in my homey retro kitchen. Love has blossomed again, now all I need is somebody to whip up a stack of fluffy blueberry pancakes and my fantasy will be complete.

As a side dish to my ‘nesting’ achievements I have also scored a full week’s worth of testosterone infused entertainment. Once I allowed my subscriptions to slink off into the ether my calendar quickly filled with lunch, dinner, and ‘other’ social engagements. True these are not ‘dates’ for this troop of men consists of old friends who are neither straight nor single however, even though they are not “mine” it’s still a nice way to spend a week.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

3rd Time’s a Charm

It’s mid October which means that we have arrived at the conclusion of my 3 month subscriptions to Match.com and Eharmony. Must say that I am actually relieved to be released from my interweb dating servitude since my diligent efforts yielded no fruit. Here is the breakdown of my 3 month stint of actively engaging the every so degrading, wallet draining, passtime of “Let’s find G a date on the internet!”

Searched 500+ postings
Sent aprox 85 emails with a response rate of 0%
Received about 15 unsolicited illiterate emails
Received ONE literate email - went on one date – bought my own drink (nuff said).

Received aprox 112 “perfect” matches
Received NO requests from men to communicate – yes that’s right 100% of the men on Eharmony who were matched with me chose to ‘close’ my account. Oh I forgot there was ONE guy who was a childhood friend from my home town who thought it was funny that we got matched - he contacted me.
Sent aprox 45 requests to communicate
Received 4 responses to my requests for communication – went on one date with one guy – he fell asleep on the bar then tried TWICE to make out with me.

After this 3 month jaunt I’m out about $200 and my ego has been ground into a bloody pulp but I must carry on my quest for a date. I specifically state DATE cause that’s all I want. I am not looking for a husband or a baby daddy– all I want to do is date a guy, I’m thinking – that should be rather easy. I am confident that there are guys who currently live in NYC between the ages of 32 and 45 who would like to DATE – right?

So I’m keeping the hope alive and on the advice of an old dear friend I have once again JOINED a new (to me) dating site, “OK Cupid”. Pros – it’s free, Cons it appears to be saturated by hipster dufus dudes who even though are in their 40’s love to rock a trend like a 23 year old Lower East Side trust fund baby . Neck tattoos, facial piercings, skinny jeans, graphic T’s and ‘ironic’ eye wear seem to be the go to steeze on this site. I feel that I may not be cool enough nor have enough angst to succeed on this website – but I’ll try. Stay tuned!