tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22228302720958116702024-03-13T14:42:02.716-04:00Want my Slaw?Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.comBlogger190125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-294669033712112852014-09-16T15:08:00.001-04:002014-09-16T15:08:19.194-04:00Under the Cone of Silence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/288/1/4/my_personal_silence_by_nataliadrepina-d6qmd2g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/288/1/4/my_personal_silence_by_nataliadrepina-d6qmd2g.jpg" height="289" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I wish I could share with you all the co-op application/ house-buying
insanity that has infiltrated my life however since I have about a half dozen
agencies searching my background with a lice comb (NO co-op board I do not have
lice or bed bugs or any parasites I’m just funny… ya see funny. But quiet and
boring. Ok not funny at all and very unentertaining. Actually I never entertain;
I mean who comes to Queens anyways. Well except for me and all of you board members
cyber stalking me because Queens ROCKS! I love Queens.. oh PLEASE let me live
here.…. Ughhhh). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The home buying process has dampened my summertime fun
jam but I know there will be another summer in 8 months and if all goes to plan
I will be rocking (yet again, very quietly.. I don’t rock loudly or inconsiderately)
my new apartment building’s swimming pool and BBQ deck like a regular property
share holder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Because of my crazy I have removed myself from the general
populace for the past several months cause really – nobody wants any of this.
However I did spend a few weekends out East at Chez Mom where we dined and
drank copious amounts of wine (in a very demure Hampton setting – NOT that kind
of Kardashian Hamptons, more like old lady
I volunteer at the community food pantry Hamptons – crap I am never passing
this board application). Talking about wine, my sometimes squatter/ fun time
pall Friday (ok co-op board.. I get it… never mind… just feed my application into
the shredder) has not only secured a full time gig but also got himself a swank
SoHo apartment (MOTHER F-er!) after only 2 days of house hunting – I think I used
that MOTHER F-er! too early in the sentence, it would have worked better here -
and as par for the course he is already pulling away. Well it was a nice 11
months and thank you for NOT breaking up with me in August cause ya know… that’s
what guys I date do (did). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hopefully my next update will not include a tale about
how on October 31st I moved my belongings into storage after losing my huge rent
controlled apartment and was living a very cozy life in a furnished room with 4
female FIT undergrads in Crown Heights.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In closing please see all these happy rainbows because if
you accept me as your neighbor and fellow share holder I will fart sunshine. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-2559170644462878292014-08-06T15:27:00.000-04:002014-08-06T15:27:24.844-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://sunsetstation.sclv.com/~/media/Images/Page%20Background%20Images/Shared/Buffet_New.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://sunsetstation.sclv.com/~/media/Images/Page%20Background%20Images/Shared/Buffet_New.jpg" height="232" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So ya know how like when you skip lunch then you get so hungry that you
want to eat your face so you blow up GrubHub ordering a poo-poo platter of nine
separate delivery options then gorge for 6 minutes until you realize that you should
have JUST eaten lunch and avoided this overload of emptiness , well that’s how
I feel about not blogging since February. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have a billion things I want to share with you about my break from
internet dating, my hunt to buy an apartment, my (x) co-worker putting a hit out on my ass, and
my surprise super nice guy ‘thing’ that grew out of that Autumnal drunken hook
up, but unfortunately it’s all so overwhelming and I’ll never get through it
all sooooo… let’s just do bullet points.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Red told me to STOP internet dating – so I did.
Boom. Red like Swason is always right, do not ignore their advice.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Faced with my imminent doom of dying alone and
broke without savings or family my Mother offered financial help towards an
apartment purchase. It was either that or have me sob inessentially on her
foyer rug as I downward spiraled into a black funk bucket of realities that I
did not want to face. Even though it was a cold harsh winter my mother realized
that she would need to exit the house at some point and my limp sobbing body
curled up in fetal position on her threshold would really harsh her lifestyle. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">HOUSE HUNT ON!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Mafia Wife Co-Worker’s crazy ratio hit 100 parts
per 100 and was fired, wait there’s more – somehow I am a liar and a fraud (yep
fraud) so I must pay for her dismissal. Google search term “Harassment”.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Friday, my drunken one nighter has become my
drunken 220 nighter. It’s fun and easy, the communication is open, we eat and
drink yummy things, and we laugh. Now if I can make it through August without
him dumping my ass I will break the curse that has hounded me the past TWO
Augusts. I do have my doubts that I will make it to Labor Day with Friday still
listed as a “favorite” in my contacts only for the fact that he JUST began his
full time gig last week and ya know how the guys get with me – once they get
that job – they are OUT!</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now that we are all caught up you can look forward to posts about bathroom
tile, random financially motivated anxiety attacks, paint colors and cheese. In
a perfect world there is always cheese. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://7chan.org/v/src/133256153259.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://7chan.org/v/src/133256153259.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<o:p></o:p>Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-75922392073169081482014-02-07T11:42:00.001-05:002014-02-07T13:08:56.932-05:00Close it Down!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yesterday my 6 month paid membership to Match.com expired
leaving me with $150 less in my bank account, 117 unanswered emails and the
memories of a single awesome date that begun with my suitor jamming two fingers
up into my hooch because 1 – YOU ARE WEARING A SKIRT, you obviously WANT to be publicly digitally stimulated (language edited for blog censors) and 2 – “That’s just the way I am, I’m spontaneous and ALL you
women in New York City are crazy, irrational, uptight, and hate sex. If you ALL
didn’t have these crazy ass rules that no man could ever understand (like NOT allowing a stranger’s hand in my
lady parts) you ALL wouldn’t be so
angry and single.” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">WOW I got all that truth dumped on me even before he bought me a glass of wine! Really
dude, pace yourself. Maybe us ladeez wouldn’t be all bitches if you sauced us
up first, rookie move. Well that’s what I get for accepting a date from a 44
year old recently divorced finance guy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/zoJLlnlFJCsbBbJ85oXyTg--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTQyMTtweG9mZj01MDtweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz03NDk-/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/finance/2013-01-16/34e0c949-acdc-46f6-adae-2ecb53d24fb6_78289257.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/zoJLlnlFJCsbBbJ85oXyTg--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTQyMTtweG9mZj01MDtweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz03NDk-/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/finance/2013-01-16/34e0c949-acdc-46f6-adae-2ecb53d24fb6_78289257.jpg" height="179" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">To punctuate this auspicious day my personal virtual cupid dumped these final electronic flirtations into
my now defunct Match.com inbox.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://waytoukraine.com/article_images/sexy1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://waytoukraine.com/article_images/sexy1.jpg" height="175" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1 - how are you?? Would you like to talk or text or chat
or whatever you would like to call it?</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2 – Hi GorgeousI am Daniel from new york city feel free
to email me and chat with me. I'm at my contact id *dsteven875* on im .....i
noticed that online marriages are turning out to be successful and so i decided
to give it a trial.., l need someone who will cherish me and be willing to
share joys and sorrows. Someone who's willing to spoil, pamper and love me
unconditionally,all l need here is honest woman who s gonna love and cares for
me with all her heart......my yahoo dsteven875 @yahoo.com </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">3 - Hi Gorgeous,. How was your day at work ? , i saw your
profile here I love to talk, listen , laugh, play around, joke, and to always
have a good time... I'm a decent and loves to meet new people, and laugh, i dont care about the distance or races...... send me your
email address or your mobile line so we can talk better</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So much to comment on here but the BIG IDEA, as they call
it in lesson planning, the main take a way, is I’m gorgeous. No really I am, or
at the very least strikingly photogenic in my bathroom selfies. Thanks Match.com for never failing to
lower my expectations of the metro area’s male dating population. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">HAPPY VALENTIN’S DAY</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">XOX</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://thebewitchinkitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Valentines-Day-Chocolate-Cupcakes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://thebewitchinkitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Valentines-Day-Chocolate-Cupcakes.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Your drop dead gorgeous G</span></span><br />
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Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-68092043215810941032013-12-06T08:17:00.000-05:002013-12-06T08:17:02.544-05:00I SHALL RETURN! <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Last week I attended my 25<sup>th</sup> High School
reunion where I was filled with the love of old friends and the joyful
exuberance of meeting new ones. Back in 1988 I would have never guessed that in
my middle age I would share a space with the majority of my fellow Big Mac
Grads laughing, drinking, and innocently flirting while shaking my bon bon like
a rock star on the dance floor. High School was difficult, no it was more than
difficult, it was horrific.
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Crap that out – let’s get back to the reunion where all
was a shake down boogie good time jam. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://b-29s-over-korea.com/General_MacArthur/images/AMARICAS_FINEST_WARRIOR/MacArthur-at-West-Point.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://b-29s-over-korea.com/General_MacArthur/images/AMARICAS_FINEST_WARRIOR/MacArthur-at-West-Point.jpg" width="153" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q was my date as per always, my old buddies from the way back
hood (Elementary School) were in full loud mouth kick ass party mode and then
there were the alum that were unknown to me but somehow it all worked, the
party rocked. The vibe in the bar overflowed with joyous frivolity, even the
guests of guests who didn’t know anybody were killing it. I can’t remember ever
attending a party with such a diverse group of people who all mixed so well.
Yes a few of my bullies were there, those mean girls (and at least one guy) who
beat, harassed and humiliated me daily for years but it didn’t matter cause ya
know why, cause I’m A FUCKIN’ WINNER! This isn’t 1988, I’m brilliant, I’m a hot
piece of 43 year old ass and I can drop it like it’s hot so yeah…. it’s all
good in the hood.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Since Saturday my facebook friend list has expanded
exponentially, I have a lady date with a fellow sassy city chic and I’ve
entered a burgeoning titillating flirtation with an alum who failed to express interest
until Sunday evening when he was snug home alone – Ughhhh seriously! However he
is single, employed and (I assume) has a home SO that’s a bunch of concurrent
attributes that have been lacking in my past perspective dates…. to be
continued. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://historychat.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/macarthur-parade-image-41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://historychat.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/macarthur-parade-image-41.jpg" width="202" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The take away - When you get invited to your reunion, go.
Go and live your adult life like the superstar that you’ve become, grab asses,
be the first one on the dance floor and try NOT to confess to your married 7<sup>th</sup>
grade crush that he/she was your 7<sup>th</sup> grade crush cause THAT
conversation gets really uncomfortable surprisingly (really – a surprise?)
quickly, or so I would assume. That thing about grabbing asses though, maybe you
should refrain from that, I mean who the hell are YOU walking around a reunion
physically accosting people, that’s just creepy… don’t do that.</span></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-78241521727406080552013-11-24T22:36:00.000-05:002013-11-24T23:17:38.441-05:00Sometimes Small Things Are Bigger Than Big Things<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.freechristmaswallpapers.net/images/wallpapers/HD-Christmas-Celebration-Lights-1920-1200-131014.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://www.freechristmaswallpapers.net/images/wallpapers/HD-Christmas-Celebration-Lights-1920-1200-131014.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Several
months ago while Sweets and I were dating he engaged a subway panhandler in
conversation who announced to us, and the entire subway car, “Sometimes small
things are bigger than big things”. At hearing this pronouncement the carload of
city slickers took a moment in quiet introspection then joined together in a
group smile because we all knew he was right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Over the past few days my panhandler philosopher’s words have filled my
head as I’ve celebrated my 43<sup>rd</sup> birthday bathed in happy goodness
pouring over me from some of the most unexpected sources. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Going into birthday
week I had no plans to mark the day, the thought of a night home alone with champagne,
BBQ and a cupcake was feeling perfectly cozy as the cold November weather settled
in. However by Wednesday evening this solitary celebration plan was replaced
with a Tapas Party due to the back to back texts of Gee birthday celebration enthusiasts,
T-Bone, Swason and Friday. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">As my birthday
dawned I awoke at 5am because I wanted the longest 43<sup>rd</sup> Birthday
ever. I cooked a </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://bdnpull.bangorpublishing.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/9547179.001-600x399.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://bdnpull.bangorpublishing.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/9547179.001-600x399.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
hot breakfast, added spiked eggnog to my coffee, played Britney
while shaking my bon bon, glued on long fake eyelashes, zipped up a new SHORT skirt
(hey adventure legs), slid a hot red lipstick into my sequined purse then thought
about all my accomplishments over the past 12 months. I reflected upon how much
my head, heart and body have grown stronger and all the brilliant new experiences
that I’ve enjoyed and conquered. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I left the
house feeling like queen of the world and it was only 8:45am.<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">By midday my
Facebook filled with birthday greetings from old friends far far away, close friends
around the corner and a person or two who I was all, “Huh, I’m friends with
you?” Facebook to me is one of those small things that is big, really big. Thinking
back to when I started running the support I gained from my friends on Facebook
inspired me to go stronger and harder and at times also overwhelmed my heart with
warmth.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Loving birthday
texts buzzed my phone throughout the day with wishes of happiness, power and adventure
for the year to come, even Friday texted me with some sassy birthday business
that made me blush and giggle like a tween. Then it happened, my mother called,
she never calls, I don’t know why she doesn’t call on my Birthday but I had
stopped caring years ago, but this year she called and that small thing was
HUGE.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<br /></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MAPTSnnc-Ks/UpLCKItd-6I/AAAAAAAACk8/06jKyqjBYKY/s1600/wine+party.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MAPTSnnc-Ks/UpLCKItd-6I/AAAAAAAACk8/06jKyqjBYKY/s320/wine+party.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Evening came
and with it my tapas and wine party at swank <a href="http://catarestaurant.com/" target="_blank">Cata</a>. T-bone, Swason and Friday made
for a wonderful threesome even though none of them had ever met before. We feasted
and drank and drank and drank until our heads swirled and the patrons at the other
tables rolled their eyes in disgust of our zealous merriment.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">It was fun,
it was lots of fun and as I sat there I couldn’t stop thinking about how so
very lucky I was to have all of this. I tried not to gush but I was overflowing
with the joy from an entire day of small things. I wanted to thank them, I wanted
to thank everybody who had communicated with me throughout the day (and since
the following days) but I couldn’t find the words to explain why all these
seemingly small gestures were so tender (and Big) to me.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="http://data3.whicdn.com/images/26949269/bampw-bed-black-and-white-couple-hug-Favim.com-364825_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://data3.whicdn.com/images/26949269/bampw-bed-black-and-white-couple-hug-Favim.com-364825_large.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Later that
night and into Saturday Friday and I extended the celebration. He is what I
need now, what we share is easy and fun. He’s confident, relaxed, cultured, and
overflowing with charm; he is also the only man who has ever asked to spend my
birthday with me. Seriously, FRIDAY, the guy I met at a bar a few weeks ago is
the ONLY man to remember my birthday and ask to celebrate it with me, i.e.
small thing = BIG THING. I feel peaceful with Friday, he doesn’t need me to
fill an empty space in him, I don’t need to act like the person he wants/ needs
me to be, I can just be me and when I talk he doesn’t read into my words or
create some odd alternative meanings he hears me and responds accordingly. When
Friday touches me or when we cuddle there is no desperation in his hands, he
doesn’t grab and grope as others have, as if I was the last woman on earth. With
Friday it feels like we are both full people who are complementing each other. As
I looked into his eyes Saturday morning I wanted to tell him all of this and
how thankful I was but I knew I was on the razor’s edge of being sappy and also
talking about “small things” when a guy is naked is NEVER a good idea.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I can’t remember
a better November 22<sup>nd</sup> due to the fact that all these small things were
bigger than big things and I am so grateful to have so many generous friends.</span></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-76141864232646977012013-11-05T15:40:00.000-05:002013-11-05T15:53:23.570-05:00Easy Fun Time<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1MPPS_8Prxc/UnlWqPCxFoI/AAAAAAAACkk/6HabN4sY_GM/s1600/GDL+on+Trail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1MPPS_8Prxc/UnlWqPCxFoI/AAAAAAAACkk/6HabN4sY_GM/s320/GDL+on+Trail.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The past few weeks have been killing it big time in Gee
world, so much fun and rock and roll sexy stuff that I’m just grooving with exuberance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Outdoorsy adventure time has been in overdrive, Adventure
Girl is not only enthusiastic and meticulous in her planning but she is umm…..
me. HOLY COW, seriously peeps Adventure Girl is early for everything, will travel
miles/ hours for fun, has the perfect gear (in pink or purple), enjoys a map, a pumpkin ale, lobster and kicking ass on the trail. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She will also spend hours/ days on researching
then change her mind 8 times until she pulls the cord, hate to admit it but …
that’s me too. We are kicking our friendship into overdrive with a sleepover
later this week so that we can hit Storm King Mountain at the break of day then
the following weekend we are attending a yoga/ hiking weekend at the Mohican AMC
lodge. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep, I am fully entrenched in my woodsy
adventures, so much so that you can add “sleeping bag” and “trekking poles” to
the list of things that UPS dropped off this week. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now onto the sexy, cause why the hell not. Match and
OkCupid are a mess, I log in daily just so my</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/147c7e00bdd02aae6211e7b11b632a75/tumblr_mgknquF6t31s0a4soo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/147c7e00bdd02aae6211e7b11b632a75/tumblr_mgknquF6t31s0a4soo1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> account stays active but there is
NOTHING that I want out there. When I last wrote there were two guys that were
maybe meet ups however neither of them ever got in touch, whatever. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But what did happen was a nice little drunken hook
up with a uber charming gent at a random pop up local food / beer place in
Queens – yeah I didn’t see that one coming either. “Friday” is undatable
(unemployed & homeless) BUT he is brilliant, cultured, a great dresser,
pays the check, holds doors open and just wants to have FUN. Good lord YES –
FUN. Seems like years since I could find a guy who was just down with the F
word (and that other F word… word). He’s so not my type, but I’m learning that
maybe I don’t have a type, well except for being unemployed, that is SO my type
but Friday likes cheese and wine and oh he went to my High School – what? Yep,
fer realz. So we hung out twice, had a ton of laughs, a heap of sexy time and
if I see him again, cool, if not it was fun and easy, and that’s what I’ve
wanted for a LONG time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-74714202283820985372013-10-21T16:39:00.002-04:002013-10-21T16:40:42.685-04:00I Got The Power <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dvPpIWXsZKI/UmWPwAWIyII/AAAAAAAACjw/11OqRwiW2T4/s1600/1380217_10151878741514526_2059448701_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dvPpIWXsZKI/UmWPwAWIyII/AAAAAAAACjw/11OqRwiW2T4/s320/1380217_10151878741514526_2059448701_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since last post I’ve enjoyed two Appalachian Mountain Club outings
(it should have been 3, but I’ll get to that), I bought a bike and I got back
into the game with TWO online dates.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My AMC weekend at Fire Island was joyful, inspiring and just
a good old kick ass time with a bunch of people who DO stuff. There were a
dozen adventurers however these people were SO active I felt like a lazy nub in
a swamp, good thing I at least had my recent 10k victory to add to the accomplishments
pile cause otherwise I would have been low lady on the amazing persons totem
pole. By the end of the weekend I gained a few more friends, was not presented
with ONE summons for the various and innumerable misdemeanors I committed and I
also had some bad ass raw inner thumbs from killing it like an Olympic rower in
the kayak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Next up was my first AMC hike in Harriman, it was a
gloomy gray day but warm so I pulled on my hiking skirt, deet-ed up and headed
on out with great expectations of meeting another set of powerful happy people.
Well let’s just say THIS group of AMCers were a little too over confident in
their athletic abilities to handle a such a hike and MUCH too underprepared to remain
jolly – oh well they all can’t be winners. BUT I did get to flirt with the burly
bartender/ outdoorsman group leader for 6 hours and I made a new outdoorsy friend
who, like me, is an overachieving newbee wanna do everything action girl. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iE0S5mHOwF0/UmWLQ8jbXwI/AAAAAAAACjk/G8exM27G1Dg/s1600/pony.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iE0S5mHOwF0/UmWLQ8jbXwI/AAAAAAAACjk/G8exM27G1Dg/s320/pony.jpg" width="308" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After the hike I contacted both Mr. Leader and Action
Girl, guess which one wanted to see more of me? Yeah, Mr. Leader… not so much.
Anyways Action Girl invited me on a 25 mile bike ride along the Old Croton Aqueduct
on Oct. 27<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> to which I instinctively typed “YES I will do that!” then
immediately bought a bike, bike tights, gloves, helmet, jacket, etc… and
started riding. Those of you who KNOW me know that all I need is the suggestion
of an action for me to get on board and DO it. One of my other AMC palls responded
to my admission of being susceptible to gentle suggestion with, “I’ll invite
you on a horseback riding and homemade whiskey hike, you'll need a horse, waspy
gear and a peat bog!” Damn my kitchen is gonna be tight with my bike AND a
pony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The two internet dates/ meetings were not even worth my
lip gloss application. Both men fell head over heels in LUST for me the moment my
gams crossed the room. One thought it best to lead with talk of his penis girth
while the other just threw caution to the wind and thrust his hand up my skirt
and into my crotch. His explanation, he likes to “live in the moment” oh and I
was so hot he couldn’t help himself. Now that’s a way to romance a lady. Penis
Girth really sealed the deal when he took a call from his mother while I was in
the WC so when I returned I was present for his profanity filled regret to his
Mother’s invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. I love a man who screams at his
mother at a bar – HOT! After hanging up he paused and asked, “So I guess my chances
of making out with you right now are kinda low, right?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is hope on the horizon, as there always is in my Pollyanna
sunshine filled optimistic world, Melba has a cute co-worker buddy (black hair/
blue eyes… yummmm) that she is trying to convince to call me – unfortunately my
Facebook awesomeness has less than inspired him to reach out. I gotta start
posting photos of me enjoying a chocolate shake and cheeseburger on my couch…
not so daunting. AND one of my Mom’s <a href="http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/291505/Fiddler-On-The-Roof-Movie-Clip-Matchmaker.html" target="_blank">yenta</a> friends has given my number to a
local newly divorced friend of the family in hopes that she scores a match, she
has done this before with no result, but maybe this time……<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Back to my not a hike yesterday. After gearing up and arriving
at Port Authority 45 minutes before </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ANz2Sgzb-5k/UmWQ_tu8KrI/AAAAAAAACj4/3B0pq9Me9T8/s1600/photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ANz2Sgzb-5k/UmWQ_tu8KrI/AAAAAAAACj4/3B0pq9Me9T8/s320/photo.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my scheduled bus departure I somehow never
boarded a bus. Yep me and a troupe of 3 others waited and waited and then
waited some more for the 8:15am to Nyack but it never showed. Of course
Adventure Girl was waiting for me in Nyack but even after I explained that
NOBODY got on the bus I think she assumed I was a numb nut and began to second
guess our burgeoning friendship. Proof of my ding-a-ling status, last night she
sent me an email with detailed instructions regarding how to access Grand
Central Terminal along with the train schedule and an offer to help in any way
she can if I have trouble with navigating the train system. GOOD LORD how did I
mess this up? I AM THE TRANSIT QUEEN! Damn I am gonna have to be a super star
on Sunday. Maybe I should bake cookies? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
</div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-11873316563943616742013-09-24T10:02:00.000-04:002013-09-24T10:08:31.480-04:00Warm Sweet Goodness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eVxDa3yl9UY/UkGcuVV6VRI/AAAAAAAACik/unYs5gzFGmU/s1600/15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eVxDa3yl9UY/UkGcuVV6VRI/AAAAAAAACik/unYs5gzFGmU/s320/15.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are no words to describe the amount of happy good
vibes that I received Sunday (and along the 2 month journey) for my FIRST 10k.
It’s difficult to explain the reason why this was such a big deal, because
there are so many reasons. Many have to do with my body and finally being able
to actually DO the things that I always knew I could do but for my undiagnosed
genetic disorder I just couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. Then after going
through the weight loss and feeling stronger I was sidelined in 2012 by the three
leg operations and lengthy recuperation time which further delayed my opportunity
to let this body FLY. Now I’m feeling spectacular, I want to do </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">everything and it is all so new and wonderful that it bursts
my heart and my head just thinking about all the things I can– or try - to do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Swason lead me to victory on Sunday with her commanding athletic
spirit, her empathetic guidance and her perfectly timed words of powerful encouragement.
As we stood shoulder to shoulder in the pack of 1,987 runners awaiting the starter’s
pistol Swason and I discussed our pace and agreed that we would stick together
if we could, but no worries if we split up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bang – we were off. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was scared and anxious, I’ve been running this distance
for a few weeks but it felt so different. The cement was hard, I missed my last
potty pit stop and all these runners looked so strong and elegant. But Swason
stayed with me, even though I didn’t turn my head to see her, I knew she was
there. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I usually jog easily until about 4.5 miles however as I reached mile 2 my right calf began to cramp. As the pain increased I thought
I would “run it out” until the turn around at 3.1 but the pain quickly spread
through my right hip up to my shoulder then down to my foot. I tried to ignore
it, I tried to focus on the traffic lights 6 blocks away, I tried to think of
all of you cheering me on and Susan gliding easily over my left shoulder but
when my right foot began to burn then go numb the fear of a thrombosis rupturing in my
right leg finally convinced my body to stop.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Swason
stuck with me as I felt the heavy pressure to complete the full 6.2 miles well
up inside. She slowly and calmly led me through a series of stretches as I explained
my symptoms. This was an entirely new side of Swason that I never experienced, she
was the composed all knowing expert and I was the novice seeking her help. If I
wasn’t so focused on relieving the pain and quieting my inner angel of death
screaming “YOU ARE GOING TO DIE” I would have hugged all the air out of her –
but I don’t think dominators do that, so I didn’t.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After the
stretching Swason instructed me to walk for 1/10 mile then reassess my pain. I
took off at my speed walking pace and moved to the center of the street instead
of the right gutter where I had been jogging previously so I wouldn’t interfere
with the “real” runners. After making
these adjustments I was free of pain and back at my cruising jog– ya know why?
Cause I wasn’t running in the right gutter! Full on rookie move…ughhhh. Yeah,
so when the street slopes to the side and there are big metal grates over the storm
drains ya don’t wanna run there – lesson learned.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At mile 3.1
Swason took the lead at the turn around calling over her shoulder, “It’s
shorter on the way back.” I knew mathematically that couldn’t be correct but
Swason is the harbinger of truth and a marathon trainee so I accepted her words wholeheartedly as my smile grew wide and my feet welcomed the forgiving softer asphalt of the return
trail.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8H_3kcOyK5Q/UkD6M7B8fLI/AAAAAAAACiE/4_kjXgl93qQ/s1600/Leg+2+edit+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8H_3kcOyK5Q/UkD6M7B8fLI/AAAAAAAACiE/4_kjXgl93qQ/s1600/Leg+2+edit+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8H_3kcOyK5Q/UkD6M7B8fLI/AAAAAAAACiE/4_kjXgl93qQ/s400/Leg+2+edit+2.jpg" width="220" /></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;">Mile 4 my
ear buds revolted, silencing my music and my GPS lady who tells me I'm a running superstar every ½ mile. I tucked the useless cord and buds into my
sports bra and tried not to focus on my echoing heavy breathing and the unknown
distance ahead.</span></em></span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: small;"><em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;">4.5 miles
and I hit my wall, as per always. I felt heavy and slow. Swason had pulled
ahead and if I had any extra breath I would have called out to her …. just go….
leave me here…. I’ll be ok. But as my head screamed out to Swason in silence she
turned as if sensing my psychic cry and yelled out “Only one and a half miles!”
Swason's words were perfectly timed, she didn’t have to say “You can do it” because
I knew she was certain I had the power to conquer the next 1.5 miles and then I
thought of T-bone’s beads on my laces that spelled out “Glew” “Strong” and I pumped
my arms and pushed my legs. </span></em></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: small;"><em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;">Swason
remained a few steps ahead, guiding me closer to 6.2 miles. When the 6 mile marker
sign came into view my emotions erupted, stunting my lungs and clamping my
throat shut. I gasped twice finding no air then I focused on the back of Swanson’s
left shoulder, her gate was relaxed and steady, I wanted to feel that. My lungs
loosened and I was back in the game just in time for a recreational runner, who
was heading towards me in the opposite lane, to give me a massive high five as he
yelled out, “You’re almost there!”</span></em></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Swason and
I crossed the finish line at 1:12:13 just as we began, shoulder to shoulder
with broad smiles and laughter (me with tears). The announcer sang out our
names like a European football announcer calls GOAL-A GOAL-A GOAL-A as my mom eagerly
rang a cowbell, tooted a duck call and held a sign exclaiming Swason's and my awesomeness.
We were awesome… we are awesome and so was my mom with her generous spirit,
unending support and superior effervescent cheer leading.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q-TshYei_kY/UkD6xACYPLI/AAAAAAAACiY/propVvMditY/s1600/french+toast+e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q-TshYei_kY/UkD6xACYPLI/AAAAAAAACiY/propVvMditY/s1600/french+toast+e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q-TshYei_kY/UkD6xACYPLI/AAAAAAAACiY/propVvMditY/s320/french+toast+e.jpg" width="265" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">10K
Sunday ended with a celebration French Toast brunch attended by Mom and…. Sweets. Yes Sweets and I didn’t work as dating partners, and yes things were said and done that filled
my head with crap but we are working really well as friends. Sweets has always been a champion of my
physical achievements and while dating not only did he introduce me to scores
of new activities while never doubting my ability to conquer challenges but he
named my gams “Adventure Legs”. Sweets also was the first to tell me that my strength
and power were worthy of a 10K and supported me wholeheartedly throughout my
training. Sweets understood what Sunday meant to me, it wasn’t JUST running 6.2
miles, it was bigger than that, it was the sum of all the parts. Sweets and I never unpacked our emotions and shared
our lives, but somehow he got it, he got that this 10K was bigger than a race
and it was wonderful that he desired to share in the glory of my big day and
eat my leftover bacon and french toast.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><em><span style="font-style: normal;"></span></em></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"></span></em></span><br /></div>
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Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-81024700251108260822013-09-19T16:36:00.001-04:002013-09-19T16:36:35.647-04:00Redemption Run<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I’ve borrowed my title from Swason’s running blog,
recently she found redemption in a glorious run following a spirit breaking unsuccessful
workout and I this morning was redeemed by my run after being bogged down in
un-dating gunk.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I fell in love this morning with my city, my spirit and
my body. The moon was electric before dawn; its startling white light pierced
my heavy drapes welcoming me to the day at 4:45am. I stretched and prepped and
hoped that 56 degrees would not feel SO shockingly awful.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When I pranced down my bock in the cover of early morning
darkness I felt like an authentic competitor, a true athlete and I filled with
pride at the strength of my legs and lungs. I headed west a few blocks as the black
sky morphed into deep purple and the moon turned a creamy ecru. Once again I switched
direction and now facing east I could see the dawn breaking ever so softly as my muscles warmed and my feet sprang forward.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Mid run I circle around two ‘garden’ blocks flanked with tidy
post war brick homes. The streets are desolate in the early hours allowing me
the opportunity to run on the forgiving asphalt through a tunnel of giant leafy
trees. I circle 4 times in my private urban forest glen until the sky bursts
with color and I take off due west.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://isardasorensen.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/tp-esb-chrysler-morning-moon-2-9-12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://isardasorensen.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/tp-esb-chrysler-morning-moon-2-9-12.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My city was decked out for me this morning; she glistened
in golds and pinks. Her skyline was shimmering as the moon, my moon, posed like
a giant pink grapefruit directly behind the Empire State Building’s spire and the
silvery elevated train slide by reflecting the amber of the
warming sun setting it aglow like a mechanical comet across my most beautiful city
scape.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I ran fast, faster than I ever had at this distance, it
was all good, everything was fitting.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My final push is up a hill, an arduous task that covers ½
mile and reduces my pace to a fast</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eMJK3g_tlz8/UjtejkvbnRI/AAAAAAAAChg/WOGaF1W3cnY/s1600/Untitled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eMJK3g_tlz8/UjtejkvbnRI/AAAAAAAAChg/WOGaF1W3cnY/s320/Untitled.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"> walk, but T-bone said it's good to run
hills so I do it. I thought of my first run just weeks ago when the Greek Yaya
cheered me on as I melted into the sidewalk and the LL Cool J celebrity double
who flashed me the brightest smile, tossed me a thumbs up and shouted “YES”, the
super in the building next door who after every run welcomes me to my block
like I was a victorious Olympian, and then I thought of you, all of you. All of
you who have cheered, supported, and offered up most wonderful advice. I
thought of all the emails and texts I’ve received with words of encouragement and
confessions of wanting to get back to doing ‘something’ and feeling inspired by
my enthusiasm. I thought of all that good stuff and I choked up, as I’m doing
now as I type this. My throat tightened and my lunges seized as the happy tears
filled my eyes and gratitude filled my soul. From my dearest friends to
strangers on the street you ALL want me to succeed and I thought….. why the
HELL do I care about these idiotic strangers on these maddening dating sites? I
have so many wonderful people in my life who can make my heart burst with
happiness just by the mere thought of them. Red was right, I need to pause the
internet man search. <span> </span>I do not deserve to
feel dejected and heartsick because of these mysterious non-existent men, I have
to get off the dating sites and just live for a moment. I do feel that if I’m
not looking for my datee then the parade will pass me by but the alternative is
too destructive, I’m too strong and powerful for this nonsense – I'M A RUNNER!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.beliefnet.com/~/media/4FADAEE6DA4E4F63AC3B414DEFF1EF23.ashx?w=400&h=300" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.beliefnet.com/~/media/4FADAEE6DA4E4F63AC3B414DEFF1EF23.ashx?w=400&h=300" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">At mile 5.5 with my new non-dating plan tucked into my silky
running shorts I swallowed back my tears and thought WWSD (what would Swason
do) well she would say, “G if you die of a happy tears induced asthma attack I will
kick you in the face.” BTW -Swason has repeatedly threatened me with this
remedy over the years regarding a diverse set of problems and it’s always
worked. So I did it, 6.3 miles at my best pace ever and you all were there with
me – redemption is MINE!</span></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-19823326816631718062013-09-17T11:54:00.000-04:002013-09-17T11:54:57.542-04:00I ain’t gonna lie – No actually I am<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="http://imunsinkable.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Scream50sWoman2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://imunsinkable.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Scream50sWoman2.jpg" width="148" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On Friday I was overwhelmed with frustration due to my
lack of dating prospects. Last fall my dates were low quality but they were
still dates. Being a pragmatic problem solver I compared my 2012 dating profile
with my 2013 profile and discovered whamo, I am an idiot, I’m being fully
truthful in my posting.</span></div>
</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last year I posted a truthful profile requesting a casual
good time with an adventurous man. Sweets jumped on board, I got what I wanted and
it was tons of fun. We both agreed
that we didn’t want a serious relationship, just sex and fun, however after 7
months he informed me that he was the only one who wanted the non-committed funtastic
dating scheme, I was actually lying to myself because I deserved a serious
relationship which unfortunately he couldn’t give me AND even if it was true
that I only wanted a good time part time guy and that I was telling the truth
when I said I would be cool with him dating other women he couldn’t give me
that either because he was so stressed out with “life issues” that he shouldn't date anybody. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ok fly be free Sweets, it was a fun run and
even though 3 weeks ago you said we were so amazing together that you didn’t
want it to end and that you would work at making time for us to do things, I respect your honesty after an apparent serious self-reflection
process. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I watched him walk away and for a moment I felt happy and
relieved that he broke up with me to focus on mending his messed up life. That
moment of contented sympathy was short lived cause it was all a lie. The truth was
while he was dumping my juicy fun time no strings attached ass that comforted
him through his miserable winter and spring he was already head over heels
courting another woman. Newbee isn’t involved in a non committed fun time
casual dating situation, she is participating in a serious exclusive
relationship. Is that what he wanted all along? Why didn’t he say anything? I
thought we were on the same page? What was with the LYING?! I thought I set up
a dating scenario where lying would be obsolete, he was free to do whatever he
wanted (just not throw it in my face or take away from my adventure time) yet
oddly even with that loosey goosey setup he infused our dating situation with a
heap of lies including the night he broke up with me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Anyways back to internet dating. After the dump
(before the lying was exposed) I thought, thank goodness for Sweets, dating him
was a wonderful learning experience for now I knew what to ask for when penning
a dating profile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still wanted fun as
per 2012 but I needed to weed out the guys who like Sweets were “unavailable”. So
I crafted a truthfully honest posting that stressed how dating was a serious
priority in my life and not only did I want a ton of raunchy romping I also
wanted outdoor adventures, cozy evenings cooking together, wine tastings,
brewery tours, seaside afternoons with BBQ and bonfires, days spent sipping
champagne watching polo or sailing, mountains with snow and bright city nights
dancing into the wee hours, I wanted shared experiences with a partner who
could openly incorporate me into his life so I could shout from the roof tops, “I’M
PART OF A RELATIONSHIP!!!” I was not interested in getting married or having
children, I just needed a man who could share his time with me because I
expected to DO things with him.</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/magnoliasoft.imageweb/bridgeman/supersize/fit82785.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/magnoliasoft.imageweb/bridgeman/supersize/fit82785.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then I let the truth sit out there, and sit and sit and
sit. I’m into week 6 now and I’ve gotten nothing, not even a glass of
wine with a lame ass guy. Last week I received this response from a perspective
datee, “I read your profile, you seem cool. How much of it is lies?” Huh, what?Why would I lie in my posting? Who does that? Well according to this guy, EVERYBODY does
it, guys, women, everybody. It’s just what you DO. CRAP now you tell me! I know
I am not savvy to the whole relationship thing and I’m an eternal optimist but
I didn’t know I was SO behind the eight ball. New plan….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe this truth thing is a fools game? Maybe I need a new
truth, a truth that is not so truthful if my goal is to date a man in the Metro
New York area.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I say FUCK that truth, toss out all that time sharing and
'doing" stuff. Who needs my truth, obviously not the men reading my profile.
Fine I will change my truth; I will say one thing and do another to get what I
want. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You want kids? You want to be
married? Hey so do I! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll make it
really easy, strip away everything else and just lay down this truth –
Truthfully I need a cocktail and some major canoodling <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- full stop.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can lie to myself and be perfectly happy having a good time with a charming man who
pays attention to me when we are together, makes a date and keeps it, and when
we are apart I couldn’t care less what he’s up to, secrets are good. Just ignite my emotions with your passionate words,
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span>paw at me hungrily with your meaty hands, kiss me deeply with soft lips, don't <span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">drive me crazy with manipulative confusion, and</span> ravish me on your Manhattan rooftop. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Everybody says that I deserve more, FUCK YES I DESERVE MORE but that doesn’t
make it true or real. I’ll pack away that goal of doing fun outdoorsy stuff with
a date; I can fulfill that goal with my AMC group or friends. I’ll cook my own
dinner while I shake my booty to my Salt N Peppa Pandora station in my kitchen
and I’ll cuddle my couch cushion -it's not the same as a man and it sucks but it's the real honest truth. </span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Unfortunately I’m a combo of realism and
impatience, the guy who may be everything for me all the time MAY exist but
dang if I know where he is and when he will show up. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the meanwhile I can’t just sit around and wait;
there is FUN to be had. Yes a healthy balanced dinner is what one deserves but if all I have is ice cream then I'm eating it. I'm not going to sit here and starve on principal because the optimal nutritional option is out of my reach.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'll compartmentalize, hot sexy stuff with part
time whomever and "doing" stuff with the social groups. SURE in a
perfect truthful world there would be one guy who could fulfill both my dating
goals (and take out my air conditioners) but for the past 20+ years that guy
still remains a pipedream. I'm up for joining the dark side, enough with this wide-eyed
innocent <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>transparent truth crap, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm hopping on the liar train. Every guy who
has contributed to my dating/ hook up/ fun time/ history has been a liar and
they are all in committed relationships, I don’t know why I’m fighting it. I’ll lie to myself about what I need and
deserve and I’ll lie to my dates as well cause as far as I can see the liars have
much more fun and I can’t wait around another 20 years for fun.</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I will always remember my conversation with Dr.
Head after my first date with Sweets. </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Me: "I think he is lying to me."</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dr. "Why?"</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Me: "He tells me all kinds of things that that
make me really happy. He's in sales so I feel like he's studying me and saying
the things that he should say to catch me."</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dr."So, he says things that make you happy,
why would that be a lie? Maybe he just wants to make you happy."</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Me:"I don't know, maybe he does mean it?"</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dr: "You will never know for certain. Just
enjoy the nice things he says until you don't."</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span>Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-16629723604588535752013-09-12T12:36:00.002-04:002013-09-12T12:36:55.214-04:00Dating Should Feel Easy...
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">…like a monkey driving a speedboat.<o:p></o:p></span></strong></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.designwars.com/dw_core/uploads/2012/11/sailor_jerrys_monkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.designwars.com/dw_core/uploads/2012/11/sailor_jerrys_monkey.jpg" width="164" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">WHY is it so difficult? No don’t answer that, I know why
it is so difficult because I cannot control the universe or foretell what my
future will be and THAT is what eats at my brain. Truly if I knew for a fact
that I would be dateless for 1 month, 1 year, 10 years but THEN I would be with
an amazing gent who knocked my sox off THEN I could just exhale sit back and
let the waves of the world wash over me until the moment that I rein victorious
in my endless search. But NO that is not how the world works, there is no
pre-set plan, I have to make my own plan and good gosh damn it – I just wanna
shake somebody!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hZR8T8qymlc/UjHqeUxuauI/AAAAAAAAChA/SRzS95iuyZE/s1600/monkey+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hZR8T8qymlc/UjHqeUxuauI/AAAAAAAAChA/SRzS95iuyZE/s320/monkey+1.jpg" width="232" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Ladle into that barrel of monkeys that you call a head
and scoop out and image monkey.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh image monkey bring him to me. Use your wise monkey
magic that churns beneath your mini fez to reveal the time that I can STOP
trolling the internets in search of my guy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Now let that image monkey drive a speedboat and you…. you
water-ski behind it!<o:p></o:p></strong></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, I’m there monkey, drive faster. Tow me to a place
where my weary head and heart can find peace and adventure – yes adventure is peaceful
when you are a restless soul as me. I CRAVE movement and change and travel and
action – and there lies my next problem - it’s the energy. If I was a lame toad
on a log I would be very content in a plodding life but I am not SIR! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Side note – I think I want – no – need a grilled cheese.
Yes a grilled cheese will fix this and well maybe some sliced tomato. MONKEY?!
I’m taking my pants off and lighting the torches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bring me the toasted melted cheese sandwich, posthaste!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.barewalls.com/i/c/386045_Grilled-Cheese.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="130" src="http://www.barewalls.com/i/c/386045_Grilled-Cheese.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdYMokwcPus" target="_blank"><strong>I found shelter on the speedboat and I thought here’s where I belong, just me and my speedboat, Merrily We Roll Along.</strong></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-63023027031709728412013-09-11T11:58:00.003-04:002013-09-11T12:21:43.550-04:00Start putting it together...<span style="font-family: Calibri;">5 Weeks into internet dating 2013 and it’s dismal. 30 +
emails, winks and likes sent = ONE response from a man who after 2 emails
declined my offer of a drink because I am a self-proclaimed happy morning
person and he is not. Ok good to know your limits dude. I’ve accepted 3 dates,
all of which have not come to fruition. The first date I canceled was for a cup
of coffee (really men, coffee?) after the best café the guy could choose was the
Grand Central Terminal Starbucks and he texted me an unsolicited naked bathroom
mirror shot – good to know MY limits. The second date I canceled was due to an unsolicited
phone call two days prior to drinks date when the guy lectured me for 15 min.
about all the things HE loves to do that I will love to do with him because he
just TOLD me that I love to do those things – things like attending an all
night movie marathon followed by eating chicken and waffles at 1am then staying
in bed for a day to sleep it off - and no. The last date I accepted was ummmm….
ignored. HEY I know this trick, invite me out then when I accept disappear and
forget that you invited me, wow that sounds like my last relationship – FUN!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The thing that is killing me is that I am at the best
place in my life, I’m happy and healthy and so energized to do stuff and I cannot
for the life of me find a man who wants to DO anything with me, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it’s driving me bonkers. I’m not shy or
introverted, I dress well, my hair ROCKS, My curves are kicking (and these new
adventure legs are HOT), I smell good and I have a TON of interesting stories/
hobbies/ interests and guys really like me … once I get out in front of them, and
there is my problem, there are NO men in my world for me to WOW. So new plan….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/priestrivertimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/f/12/f123a8dc-c890-11e2-902b-0019bb2963f4/51a64ff91e733.preview-300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/priestrivertimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/f/12/f123a8dc-c890-11e2-902b-0019bb2963f4/51a64ff91e733.preview-300.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A vision's just a vision<br />
If it's only in your head.<br />
If no one gets to see it,<br />
It's as good as dead.<br />
It has to come to light!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m joining groups, groups that DO stuff, mostly outdoorsy
hiking camping groups cause I like to that AND guys like to do that so that
will get me some face time with at least ONE man (I hope) and then that guy may
know a guy and so on and so on and so on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bit by bit,<br />
Putting it together...<br />
Piece by Piece<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Tuesday after Labor Day I signed up for <a href="http://meetup.com/">MeetUp.com</a> –
never heard of it but it seems like it could work. I chose about a half dozen
NYC meet up groups that do stuff from Stand Up Paddle boarding to portable bicycling
(bicycles supplied) to hiking and just hanging out at beer gardens… yumm beer. Also
on Tuesday I signed up for my FIRST<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://www.run10feed10.com/home/#!/enyc" target="_blank">10K!</a>
With Swason on board to be my jogging mate (as long as her little sister doesn’t
go into labor 1 day early) I’m sure it will be an early morning filled with celebration
and tears of joy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every moment makes a contribution,<br />
Every little detail plays a part.<br />
Having just a vision's no solution,<br />
Everything depends on execution:<br />
Putting it together- That's what counts!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.newsday.com/polopoly_fs/1.5835262.1376673342!/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/display_600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="http://cdn.newsday.com/polopoly_fs/1.5835262.1376673342!/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/display_600/image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By Wednesday I was attending an open house for <a href="http://www.amc-ny.org/" target="_blank">The AppalachianMountain Club</a> (AMC) where I was so enthused by the prospect of DOING things I plunked
down my Visa card and signed on the line. I am now a card carrying member of
the AMC and will attend my first event the weekend after my 10K. Of course now
that I’m an official member of a mountain club I need stuff, like boots and
socks so <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- ORDER IN! However as my first
foray into the AMC world I thought I should go with something I know so I
signed up for the Fire Island English Pub Weekend at the <a href="http://www.amc-ny.org/facilities-services/fireisland" target="_blank">AMC beach house</a>, duh
beer, sand and ocean … no brainer. Fingers crossed I won’t be dorming with a bunch
of gray haired hippies and even if I am maybe they have a single corporate money
making “black sheep” son/ nephew/ x-husband whom they wanna pawn off on me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Having just a vision's no solution,<br />
Everything depends on execution.<br />
The art of making LIFE<br />
Is putting it together<br />
Bit by bit...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-29578756667176898922013-08-27T08:04:00.003-04:002013-09-19T16:37:14.347-04:00All Good Things<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The past ten
days have been an amalgamation of fun surprises, reunions (both planned
and otherwise), fantastic accomplishments, laughs and an abundance of good
juicy stuff.
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.ellensrunonline.org/pics/splashImages/image4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="http://www.ellensrunonline.org/pics/splashImages/image4.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Since I last wrote I competed in my
first organized group 5k. It was strange and emotional but I’m glad I
did it, mostly just to know that I CAN do it. The most difficult
part of the race was the start. I wasn’t expecting the chaos of runners jostling for position
as well as packs of small children sprinting around in circles like wild rabid dogs. It was very distracting and not at all the relaxing mind numbing cruise
of my solitary runs. However once I got into my groove I settled in and
relied on a women 40 yards ahead with a swinging ponytail to lull me into a
steady pace. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.lululemon.com/community/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/LULU_WEB_2011Q1_BMOMAA26E5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.lululemon.com/community/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/LULU_WEB_2011Q1_BMOMAA26E5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The miles clicked
off and soon I was turning the final corner of the course with the Finish Line glimmering just yards away. Wearily I entered into a pocket of empty
space that traversed a tree lined canyon vibrating with the
cheering fist pumping fast runners whom after completing the race focused their
excess energy on encouraging the remaining pack. As their wave
of intense support pummeled my chest my throat tightened and my
tears welled up, they were ALL cheering for me! As I stemmed my emotional tidal-wave
of gratitude a man about my age, tall and trim stepped off the
curb, pointed to the finish line and shouted “That’s YOUR
finish line, you OWN IT! You TAKE THAT FINISH LINE!” then he
applauded so hard that I thought his palms would explode. My fire burned as
my engine ignited and I felt my body fly weightlessly over the pavement
as I TOOK my finish line with strength and power.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The same
weekend I accomplished another feat of strength, but this was more emotional
and mental… or so I thought it would be. As I mentioned in my last post I
bought a two piece bathing ‘thing’ to wear when I paddle board but I was
feeling so confident and strong on Saturday (after running 5 miles on Friday)
that I popped it on, hopped aboard my Mom’s beach cruiser and took off for a 12
mile bike ride with a pit stop at Sag Main Beach. Before leaving the house
with my pasty white wrinkly tummy all “out there” I needed just a little
reinforcement so I snapped a bathroom mirror selfie and sent it off to Red informing
her that I was about to do something that I never dreamed I could
do. I wasn’t fishing for compliments, what I needed was a bit of understanding
and Red was right on target. She wished me luck, congratulated me on my bravery
and sent me off on my adventure through the most expensive zip code in
the USA, which of course is chock-a-block with ‘perfect’ looking
women in their finniest and skimpiest haute couture après beach,
golf, tennis, riding attire, etc... </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://barbarathomasart.com/Images/Landscape/SAGAPONACK1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://barbarathomasart.com/Images/Landscape/SAGAPONACK1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I thought I
would have feelings of doubt or at least feel defeated when 'side eyed' by
the fancy ladies, but I didn't, I didn’t feel any of that (nor did I receive any smirking). What I felt
was freedom and power l as I peddled south of the highway with the sun and
wind tickling my bare skin, skin that’s been denied these sensations since I
graduated from rubber swimming bloomers . I oozed with happiness as my inner
voice announced to the vines heavy with wine grapes, the corn fields as high as an elephant's eye and the 20 million dollar family compounds,
"I LOVE my strong body, this tremendous body that can run 5 miles (as
of today 6.01 miles) and do so many other fantastic things!!"</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I cruised down
to the beach in full Gee Sparkle mode where not only did I spread my towel and
sun my middle but I also confidently strode down to the sea and owned that
ocean as I broke through the waves and swam like an unchained mermaid.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ih3.redbubble.net/image.11660174.6944/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://ih3.redbubble.net/image.11660174.6944/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-14292473568337402072013-08-13T16:13:00.001-04:002013-09-19T16:37:03.413-04:00Be The Inspiration<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now that my body is 2.5 years into its transformation I’m
experiencing a new change. Once diagnosed with
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hashimotos-disease/DS00567" target="_blank">Hashimoto's</a> th</span>e weight loss was shockingly fast, now after a year of a consistent
body weight I feel my strength and stamina increasing in leaps and bounds. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My body amazes me, it’s this wondrous machine that
constantly morphs and fills me with awe and amazement. Sure last year my body
decided to fall apart and send me into an emotional spiral of anxiety and
depression, that was ‘wondrous’ too, but more like a – what the fuck is going
on with you – wondrous. Now I’m pushing hard and getting stronger and much to
my enjoyment discovering inspiration from an endless fountain of awesomeness -
and that fresh spring of power is ME! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="http://www.fitbie.com/sites/default/files/boost-your-metabolism-this-winter-spin-class-ss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="http://www.fitbie.com/sites/default/files/boost-your-metabolism-this-winter-spin-class-ss.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Several weeks ago while plowing through my Tuesday
spinning class I approached my scheduled breaking point…the body wrecking hill
climb. For months I visualized Swason powering through her marathon training or
Sweets calling out to me “Just a little further, you are so strong!” to pump a
droplet of inspiration into my melting body but that day I did not call upon my
virtual cheerleaders, that day I thought, “My legs are amazing, they are
strong, and not only CAN I do this, but I have done it and I am AWESOME!” That
day I became my own inspiration, my body, my soul, my tenacity is what inspired
me, and continues to keep my adventure legs pushing stronger and further.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I try to remember how remarkable my powerful body is
especially when my eyes fall to the areas of my skin that are scarred from the previous
40 years of body noncompliance. It sucks, and I don’t want to hate my body (I never
did when I was larger), but I do have feelings of being cheated by biochemistry.
Sure I could pay thousands of dollars for plastic surgery to remove the sagging
elephant skin on my legs and tummy (I have stopped looking at my butt, I just
like to assume it is juicy and full), but really shouldn’t I get my stupid dead
tooth fixed first? Or maybe I should use that cash (that I don’t have) for
something fun like a trip to Bali… ya see how that wrinkly skin doesn’t seem so
bad anymore… ahhhh Bali. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="http://soposup.com/~tustind/domains/SOPOSUP/drupal/sites/default/files/imagecache/product_full/IMG_3995.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://soposup.com/~tustind/domains/SOPOSUP/drupal/sites/default/files/imagecache/product_full/IMG_3995.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Recently when a wave of body ughhhhh wafted over me I immediately
signed up for a beginners stand up paddle board class and I killed it! I flew
past those perfectly flawless skinned chicks and was the prized pupil,
garnering praise from the instructor as well as my co-paddlers. My body does
things, strong things, difficult things, and I know for certain that one hour of
stand up paddle boarding is far superior to one saggy wrinkled tummy.
Continuing on my strong body love-fest I did something last week that I have
NEVER done before, I purchased a two piece athletic “bathing costume” (feels weird
calling it a bathing suit). Even though my middle parts have not felt the warmth of direct sun
since the age of 3 I decided to do it – buy an athletic sports bra swimming top and a cute pair of swimmy shorts so that my next venture out on
the rental board will be a triumph for both my body and my head – crap I’m
gonna need some SPF 70.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-64680775235264632952013-08-12T14:07:00.002-04:002013-08-12T14:07:40.743-04:00I Hate The Hunt
<a href="http://lafemmeroar.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/screen-shot-2011-05-23-at-3-23-58-pm.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lafemmeroar.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/screen-shot-2011-05-23-at-3-23-58-pm.png" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One week into online dating (2013 edition) and I’m already weary
of the process. For those of you who live a magical life bursting with rainbows and unicorns, who have always found your Mr./ Ms. wonderful in the ‘real’ world and believe
that internet dating must be FUN and EXCITING– let me lay some truth on you, it
SUCKS! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine being laid off, you reflect for a moment then realize you gotta get back into the game, you quickly
post your resume online and start answering job postings with well-crafted
introductory cover letters. Days pass and your letters go unanswered however
your mailbox is overflowing with offers to flip burgers in Oklahoma or scrub
motel bathrooms in Idaho. Then you sit and think, what the FUCK!? What in my
resume would make a perspective employer think that I want THAT? So you review your
resume, edit and re-post, all the while continuing to send out cover letters for
jobs that match your skill set. More days pass and still your letters go
unanswered as more distasteful offers from far away states fill your empty
inbox. And that my friends is me on the dating hunt.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know men don’t read my profile but what amazes me is
that they don’t read their own. I received an offer for drinks from a dude who
proclaimed after reading my profile we would be a great
match. I discovered through his posting that he had a large family with whom he spent
every free moment and that he wanted a woman who was “extremely family
oriented” as well. Also he was an avid church goer and wanted his match to “make
God a major priority”. As to pets he had dogs and wanted to date a women with
dogs so that they could all share in the fun (good lord). I replied to his
email (I know I should have just deleted it BUT I had a few drinks before
logging on) explaining that all the things he required in a partner I did not possess
and that I was rather confused at his claim that we would be a great match. His
reply, “I never thought of it, I guess it all depends on expectations, I am ultimately looking for
someone with those qualities, but I could date others now.” To which I responded
(and again I know I should have deleted his email), “I expect to become
someone's "ultimate" one day, but going into a dating situation
knowing that being the ultimate would never happen, is not for me.” SURPRISE ending,
the guy thanked me for pointing out the incongruities between his email and his
posting and within the hour updated his profile with this edit, “I’m not ready
to commit to dating anybody right now, I have many things and people in my life
that take priority but I would like to find a friend maybe for now.” – WOW check
me out, I did good for this guy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Notes regarding internet dating photos:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Besides the classic bathroom selfie (still going strong
for the over 40 set) here are the top three straight male middle aged photo ops
that are trending on the interwebs:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Men sleeping on the couch, cause there is no better way
to say “I’m a virile, athletic man who will take you out and knock your socks
off!” than napping. Bonus points if holding a dog/ cat/ blankie in a cuddle death
grip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Men indulging their narcissistic compulsions by snapping
5-10 photos of their refection the rearview mirror of their car – who knew a
man could look so hot rockin’ a nylon webbed shoulder seatbelt? Bonus points if
wearing sunglasses and an Ed Hardy T shirt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lastly the ubiquitous photo of a guy talking on the phone,
cause ya know ladies go crazy for a guy who won’t even give us the courtesy as
a viewer of a photo to put down a blackberry. Bonus points if he’s pointing his
index finger as his brows furrow in that, “Hey, shhhhh, wait a minute, I’m on the
phone bitch.” way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-57944860721190832002013-08-08T10:52:00.000-04:002013-08-08T10:52:45.791-04:00In Search Of
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After Monday night’s farewell I thought I would give myself
a few days/ weeks of quiet time before hopping aboard the wonder wheel of
internet dating but instead within 14 hours I decided not only to reinstate my
free OKCupid account but I did something that I haven’t done in years, I signed
up for a 6 month paid membership on Match.com. Match.com you soul sucking bank
account eating tease, I hate you so but I have no other choice, I’m pulling out
the big guns and hitting this shit hard. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com/blogs/knackfornoticing/files/2010/05/woman-searching-300x199.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com/blogs/knackfornoticing/files/2010/05/woman-searching-300x199.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want my person, I don’t know where he is or when I’ll find
him but I really want him. Sweets was never my person, I knew that by the end of
March, but it was OK, there was fun and lots of shared wonderful moments even
if he never looked at me with ravenous wolf eyes or grabbed me at the door
after not seeing me for weeks, then threw me to the ground to ravage me. I want
to be a man’s perfect embodiment of womanhood, I want to be his #1, not his
#36, when we’re apart I want him to think, “Wow I wish Gail was here, this would
be much more fun with her sharing in this.” And I want to fall crazy head over
heels for him and I want him to be ridiculous for me as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I cried Tuesday, hard, and truthfully my eyes are welling up
as I type this now, not because Sweets and I aren’t dating but because of the
situation, because I really DO deserve to have the best and I’m at the peak of
my life, feeling the strongest/ healthiest I have ever felt with an abundance
of energy and happiness and I just want to share that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Side note, having the spinning instructor
surprise you with a new song during the most difficult part of the class and
that song be a slow broken hearted love duet really does some good work for
purging one’s emotion. Thank goodness the room was dark and the music was
booming cause I was falling apart, full heaving ugly face weeping with the
tears mixing with my face sweat (hot, I know). I was rather impressed with my
lung capacity though; it is kinda bad ass to be bawling uncontrollably while
climbing a major hill in spin class, just saying. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Using the knowledge I learned from the men I’ve met I
decided to update my online dating profile to reflect my true needs and wants
in hopes that it weeds out the men who just aren’t available to give me what I
desire. For your reading pleasure I have included an excerpt below – enjoy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lastly, yesterday morning I got a little surprise boost to
the ego when Mr. Woods popped up on my OkCupid instant messenger. Mr. Woods has
permanently relocated to Zurich but is still on the prowl. We exchanged small talk before I had to
race out the door but even within our hurried chat Mr. Woods was able to
squeeze in some very flattering memories of me – it’s nice to be remembered,
especially as a drop dead sexy goddess.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Online Dating Excerpt:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have time, energy, creativity, and no anchors weighing me
down or holding me back to get out and GO (I don't even own a houseplant). I
want to do things, go places, DATE and have a vat full of raucous laughter
doing it. I am independent, I have traveled, dined, attended social events,
explored, etc... on my own but now I want to share all kinds of super fun
things with a man I am dating , therefor if you do not have the availability in
your heart/ head/ schedule to share time and adventures then I would not be a
good prospective dating partner.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(other stuff)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I need a man to date who has space in his
life to incorporate another. At this age many people come with other people
(ex's, kids, elderly parents, overwhelming careers etc...) and that is par for
the course however please understand your time limitations, if your dance card
is already full with other commitments I would not be a good match for you. I
am not interested in getting married or having kids, now is my time for
wondrous escapades and rip roaring fun and I would like to share that with a man who has
the time and energy to hit it!</span>Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-54127011858041624822013-08-06T15:55:00.000-04:002013-08-06T15:55:44.304-04:00Truthiness
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://christinemosler.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/he-walks-away.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="http://christinemosler.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/he-walks-away.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sweets and I are no longer dating. It’s been coming for a
while, I sensed things were off following his Easter visit with his family but I
tried not to dwell on his withdrawal and chalked it up to his overwhelming
stress load. I worked hard at not stressing him out, probably too hard. Dating should
not be that difficult, but even when I pointedly asked, “Do you still want to
spend time with me? Because it really feels like there is an imbalance between us.”
Sweets apologized and vowed that he truly did WANT to spend time with me and do
all the fun things he posited during the cold dark winter months. So I stayed
and believed in his plans of warm sun on our skin as we sailed to the private Connecticut
island beaches. He spoke of grand plans for us together, all wonderful and
filled with adventure but as the weeks of May and June flew by I saw Sweets less
and less and when the weekends arrived with my heart and head filled with
anticipation of all the riches I was promised <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was shockingly dumped into the pit of disappointment
as my plan for a tumultuous weekend of good and plenty <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>revealed itself <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for the reality that it was - alone time for
me in Queens while Sweets escaped to regions beyond the state line. By the end
of June, I knew, well I suspected, because the one thing I can never shake is
my enthusiastic optimism, that I had been sold faulty goods.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I posed the question out right, I gave him the opportunity
to come clean and tell me that he didn’t have space in in his life for me. It would
be a hard pill to swallow but better to take the pill then to continue dating a
man who could not / would not make any time for me. This is my blog so I’m
going to toot my own horn now, I AM AMAZING TO DATE! I have two big dating wants,
I want to have sexy time and I want to DO really fun things. Done. I don’t care
about fidelity or commitment or a relationship, I don’t want to get married or
have kids, crap damn it we never even said we were boyfriend and girlfriend – I
don’t care. I never even asked Sweets to help paint my kitchen or install my 2
window AC units or even take a drive with me to Home Depot – <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>all I wanted him him to do was make time do
the things HE WANTED TO DO with me . Long story longer Sweets realized his
wrong doings, apologized and said that he didn’t want to stop dating me and
that beyond a doubt wanted to do things with me just not all those things he
talked about cause umm…. sometimes he runs his mouth without thinking. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OK that’s cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I promised to lower my expectations and
help with getting plans onto paper and facilitate the remainder of our Summer/
Fall adventure schedule. Whew all is swell, isn’t it nice to have a good adult
check in and get our dating back on track! Now off with Sweets for the month of
July while his kids are in town and we’ll reunite in August with my monthly
planner in hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh it’s August, already? Great, we had a good break and now I
can’t wait to get our schedule down in black and white, so much to do and see
and …. Oh … what?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last night Sweets dropped the truth hard, he was wrong, he
thought he could make space for me but he can’t so he needed to breakup with
me. There were clues it was gonna happen last night, small clues that I tried
to contort into signs of happy good things to come, but in the end my nagging
thought that the finale was near was the thought that rang true.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We walked and talked and laughed and reminisced about all
the super fun that we shared over the past 7-8 months. I vented (which was
good) and he apologized and we both agreed that I deserved better (funny that’s
exactly what Mr. Invisible said when he broke up with me last Aug.). I was so
ready for this breakup that no tears were shed until we spoke of the good times,
that’s the difficult part for me, remembering all the GOOD, cause there was so
much and I did so many new things, rock wall climbing, snowshoeing, hiking,
camping, and because of Sweets’ enthusiasm and overwhelming support for my
physical strength I feel that I could conquer anything so I began jogging and
spinning and now stand up paddle boarding.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="http://catholiclane.com/wp-content/uploads/holding-hands-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://catholiclane.com/wp-content/uploads/holding-hands-.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We are friends, we will be friends, we both care about each
other and have such fun that to throw it all away now would be fool hardy. I
did warn Sweets though now that we are friends and he’s a member of Team Gail
(it takes a village) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he’s going <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>be called upon for services (he’s already
promised to remove my air conditions) and also cause he’s a friend <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to tell him when he’s being a dumb
ass. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After burgers and beers we hugged and said we would hang out
soon and I really hope we do, the guy doesn’t have the nick-name Sweets for no
reason. I’m just glad that not only was he finally truthful to me but he was truthful
to himself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-36711004385131234032013-02-21T11:46:00.000-05:002013-02-21T11:46:26.668-05:00Lub –Dub Lub –Dub
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://hdwallpaper2013.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Valentines-Day-Hearts-Cartoon-HD-Wallpaper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://hdwallpaper2013.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Valentines-Day-Hearts-Cartoon-HD-Wallpaper.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First let me quell all your fears with good news
regarding my pesky nodes. After what was a harrowing and extremely painful
biopsy the report showed NO signs of anything toxic just some lumps with
nothing to do. Sweets was a champ throughout the procedure (pre and post); holding
my hand, stroking my hair, and reading to me in bed as my neck swelled and pulsed
with pain. The happiness and relief I felt just having him beside me drained
the fear and rested my worries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GIo-jEKBGlE/USZMdIdjoHI/AAAAAAAACcc/oUruCs5-lB8/s1600/bike.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GIo-jEKBGlE/USZMdIdjoHI/AAAAAAAACcc/oUruCs5-lB8/s200/bike.jpg" width="158" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two days after the needle to the neck I was off to
Jamaica with Mom on what was to be one of the most relaxing vacations I’ve had
in a long time. Mom promised not to stress me out and to take responsibility
for EVERYTHING. My instructions were merely to “Pack a bag, grab your passport,
and meet me at the airport”. In 6 days I tanned up my saggy bacon, had two spa treatments,
biked several miles and filled my belly with fresh fruits and seafood. Oh and
there was wine, lots of wine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I returned to the city within 25 hours of Valentine’s Day
with no expectations of any celebratory action, sure it would be delightful to
have a Valentine (other than a gay guy, a gal pal, or my mom) BUT I was totally
Zen about the entire situation. As Sweets and I celebrated my return to NYC
and my clean bill of health at <a href="http://brindleroom.com/" target="_blank">The Brindle Room</a> he reached across our candlelit table, took my
hand and said, “I know I should have brought this up earlier but, do you have
plans for tomorrow?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My face lit up and I
shook my head no as my grin exposed my inner joy at having a REAL Valentine for
the first time in my 42 years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next night Sweets cooked dinner at my apartment as I
scurried around, pushing my unpacked suitcase under the side table, giving the bathroom
a quick once over, and lighting every pink and red candle that I could find. We
feasted and flirted and drank rich red wine that made my head spin and the
giggles come easily. In the flickering amber candle light Sweets’ crimson hair
glistened and his blue eyes deepened and I thought, this is exactly where I want
to be right now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3_2FCxXqZPQ/SR7uMYZT2jI/AAAAAAAAEhY/gIUSy_sWKeA/s400/victorian-valentine-card.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3_2FCxXqZPQ/SR7uMYZT2jI/AAAAAAAAEhY/gIUSy_sWKeA/s320/victorian-valentine-card.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Valentine’s night also hosted my last Dr. Head appointment.
I had been weaning off of her since mid-December and by late January I felt that
I had nothing left to say. After vacationing with my mom, surviving another
stressful health scare and dating a new guy while feeling utterly in control of
my emotions and exceedingly happy I knew I had healed and returned to the original
Gee. I leave Dr. Head with new coping skills, insight and knowledge, not only
about me but others in my life as well and how to more easily navigate through
the maze of my personal universe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-63693062106396307012013-01-31T16:47:00.002-05:002013-01-31T16:47:31.971-05:00Spinning wheel…going round and round<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ra2PBwAeWB4/UQrkfBFhBLI/AAAAAAAACbs/yovb-JaQs2c/s1600/face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ra2PBwAeWB4/UQrkfBFhBLI/AAAAAAAACbs/yovb-JaQs2c/s320/face.jpg" style="cursor: move;" unselectable="on" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just when things are cruising smoothly<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- WHAMO<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>- sucker punch. First, Sweets, the poor guy got laid off, gulp. Being
stressed out and broke is NOT the ideal state for one to inhabit when attempting
to cultivate a burgeoning relationship, however on the plus side I am assuming
this will curtail his additional dating agenda since it’s kinda hard to court
concurrent women in this pricey city while not gainfully employed. Also a plus,
I get to be Gee, happiness giver and general head distractor (in a good way).
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Immediately following his lay off announcement we shacked up for an astounding
5 days filled with eating, drinking, late night boogie downing, road <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tripping, mountain (hill) climbing, museum
going, movie watching, and hours of ridiculous conversations revolving around breading
mini pocket sized pets, standardizing alternative methods of measurement, repurposing
sheared body hair, etc, etc, etc…. At the end of our 5 day marathon of “Let’s
not think about reality” we were both exhausted and blown away by the amount of
joy we shared while on our ‘stay-cation”. Yeah that’s fucking amazing. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My uber crush’s layoff news was disappointing, but not
devastating (for me) but little did I know that lurking around the corner was my
own little package of WHOLLY CRAPPERS! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oj_-c4BNZ0I/UQrlkuEoKeI/AAAAAAAACb4/HF2Ad5VIc20/s1600/lymph-nodes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oj_-c4BNZ0I/UQrlkuEoKeI/AAAAAAAACb4/HF2Ad5VIc20/s200/lymph-nodes.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the morning of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sweet’s layoff <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I submitted my neck <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for a routine ultrasound of my thyroid which surprisingly
uncovered some abnormal growths on my lymph nodes.. what the.. really?
Seriously my body just loves adding pieces, remember my cranky cervix? But back
to the lymphs – my ENT specialist is not very concerned however he wants a
sample taken and for extra fun times the nubbin is all snug and cozy up along
my carotid artery – bonus! But wait there is more, to prep for my upcoming
procedure Doc placed me on a super antibiotic which immediately killed off all
my good germs (ladies… ya know what I’m saying here) so on top of everything I
also got THAT going on.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last night was date night with Sweets (plans made prior
to my medical discovery) and he couldn’t have warmed my heart more. With all
his real life stuff going on he was still generous with spirit, comforting with
words and supportive in action. We snuggled on my living room shag carpet as we
dined on overstuffed toasted sandwiches and pomme frites . After filling his
tummy with cheese, potatoes, and ALL my fancy beer (damn you antibiotics) I
shyly popped the question…..”Could you meet me after my procedure and bring me
home? If that is too much, too soon…or weird.. it’s ok.” He didn’t let the
words drift off my lips before exclaiming “OF COURSE I will!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’ll walk you over and sit in the office
during the procedure as well.” (side note, his sudden lack of employment is rather
handy in this situation)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know it’s crazy to be surprised at Sweet’s eagerness to
be a mensch, but after a stupid STUPID year of crap ass interactions my scale
of what is normal friend behavior is fully out of whack… but <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>happily, it's being recalibrated.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<img height="90" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ra2PBwAeWB4/UQrkfBFhBLI/AAAAAAAACbs/yovb-JaQs2c/s320/face.jpg" style="filter: alpha(opacity=30); left: 663px; opacity: 0.3; position: absolute; top: 361px;" width="96" />Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-56505082652411958592012-12-27T12:09:00.000-05:002013-09-17T11:57:40.903-04:00Facebook Friend or Foe<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Immediately after posting my last blog I stumbled upon
Sweet’s Facebook page. And by “stumbled upon” I mean easily discovered after engaged
in an active search. At 42 years of age you would THINK I would be able to temper
my emotions and rein in my downward spiral of doom after snooping into places I
have not been invited. But NOPE, I still have enough of my tragically insecure 16
year old girly pink matter crammed up there in my scull along with the gray which
tends to take over in cases such as these to drive me absolutely batty.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://caps.umich.edu/files/caps/styles/thumbnail_lists/public/field/image/griefs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://caps.umich.edu/files/caps/styles/thumbnail_lists/public/field/image/griefs.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I flipped through multiple photos of wine bars and
jazz clubs featuring various women I began to doubt my strengthening position
in our burgeoning dating scheme. It wasn’t that I was disturbed by the dates (I
would be a hypocrite to cry Scoundrel! - considering what went down with one of
NYs bravest) no, what made my heart ache was that I was missing from the lineup.
Seriously THIS is what made me sad, the fact that a guy that I’m dating did not
have OUR dates posted publically for all to comment. All my insecurity came
rushing in, flooding my head and my heart with thoughts and emotions all skewed
to destroy my warm fuzzy feelings of excitement and new romantic opportunities and
replace them with thoughts of “You’re not attractive”, “He’s embarrassed of you”,
“He’s using you”, “Sure you are fun BUT he would rather be seen in public with these
other women.”…. Blah blah blah…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes in reality there could be TONS of reasons why I’m
vacant on his Facebook and as an adult I shouldn’t care. But how the heck do
you un-SEE things you shouldn’t have been looking at in the first place? Meanwhile
while I was drowning in the minutia of each comment and photo tag, Sweets inadvertently
drove me further into my box of crazy by going completely MIA – yep no contact,
full on radio silence. My sadness quickly moved to anger then by Saturday
morning (after evaluating three days of carousing posted publically on Facebook)
shifted gears directly into disinterest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.handheldmuseum.com/Tomy/Tomy-DriveYourselfCrazyBox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="http://www.handheldmuseum.com/Tomy/Tomy-DriveYourselfCrazyBox.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By Saturday afternoon Sweets rang my phone and low key
plans were made for that evening. I was not optimistic or overly enthusiastic
BUT I promised myself I would arrive in full Gee Happy Puppy form and give it
my best shot, even if my head was a jumble of images and comments that were not
intentioned for my eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sweets arrived at my local speakeasy and I can’t be certain
if it was the spicy bourbon or his tenderness or a scrumptious combo of both but
in moments my angst melted away and I didn’t snap back to the real world until I
entered my office Monday morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the end I’m glad I know what I think I know, or at
least I’m glad that I saw what I saw. The photos on Facebook tempered my
expectations but have not destroyed them. Additionally I will follow Red’s
demand that she laid down while talking me off the cliff of self-sabotage
Saturday morning, Keep that lid TIGHTLY on your box of crazy, no guy needs to
see that….. yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-12892908629148062922012-12-18T15:19:00.000-05:002012-12-18T15:19:36.065-05:00I Must Have Done Something Good
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="http://www.carolinecain.dk/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/joyous-woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="319" src="http://www.carolinecain.dk/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/joyous-woman.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Life is going super well, maybe that’s why the blog has
been very quiet. Dr. Head is doing wonders for my mood, no tears in MONTHS and
she’s great with giving me the tools to deal with unfavorable situations that
used to drive my anxiety quotient off the charts. It’s been a hard row to hoe
for some but the “new communications plan” that I put into effect is best for
me, and that’s how I roll these days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Along with my good humor the dating goddesses have smiled
warmly upon my rosy cheeks and sent me a man who ummmm…. makes my eyes sparkle
and my mouth turn into a permanent grin. I think I may be smitten, and I KNOW
for sure I am being wooed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last I wrote Mr. Woods was making my toes curl with his
sexy bad ass ways and smooth charm, but that coolness became cold and the bad
ass became boring. Mr. Woods allusive coyness was not worth my time so we let
that thing fizzle out. It was fun and Mr. Woods played a HUGE part in resuscitating
my swagger but without the proper amount of real live face time my crush
quickly petered out. I went on a few more dates; nothing special came of any of
them until I met Sweets on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend. Sweets is
charming and unassuming but with a solid confidence that really rocks my boat.
At first his enthusiastic energy was a bit frantic but quickly it grew on me or
maybe his edge softened a bit, either way I’m digging his exuberance and delight
in his optimistic cheeriness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sweets is my age, divorced father of two, with a career
in finance and a head of crimson hair. He seems to delight in my dorky love of
all things ridiculous, from our first real date riding the tram to Roosevelt
Island to visit the FDR memorial to my habit of breaking into TV jingles from
the 70’s. He holds my hand when we walk down the street and helps me on and off
with my coat. Doors open, chairs are attended to and the bill is always paid
with Sweets commenting, “It’s my privilege to pay the check.” HOW DID I GET
HIM?! Will you all allow me to gloat even more and say that the man has a
triathlete’s body that intimidates me to shame once we head behind doors “after
hours”? CRAP, Sweets is blowing my mind and warming my heart and it frightens
me to think of all the ways I could screw this up. I don’t want to screw it up,
I want it to keep going and growing and exploring. I try to relax and just let
the “liking” happen but it’s so hard for me to believe that it is all so real.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before my tween like babbling fills 10 more pages of blog
I’ll end with this last little tidbit – after our second date Sweets mailed me
a hand written note thanking me for a “spectacularly splendid evening”…. Seriously
Sweets, you have me fully.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-91403087949550988752012-10-21T12:42:00.000-04:002012-10-21T12:42:05.875-04:00It’s Not Me – It’s You<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dr. Head blew up my mind this week when she laid down
this little nugget of information, mean people DO make you feel badly and nice
people DO make you feel good – cause that’s how relationships work, your
emotions are effected by others’ actions and words. What the What, Dr. Head? What about all that
mumbo jumbo that is spewed about - don’t let others dictate your moods, </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">it's not others' <span style="font-size: small;">responsibility</span> to make you happy<span style="font-size: small;">, </span></span></span>be
strong<span style="font-size: small;"> and </span>pull yourself up by your boot straps<span style="font-size: small;">?</span> Isn't it my <span style="font-size: small;">responsibility</span> to <span style="font-size: small;">build up immunity to other<span style="font-size: small;">s' <span style="font-size: small;">nastiness</span>? Isn't it me who <span style="font-size: small;">should adjust t<span style="font-size: small;">o their behavior<span style="font-size: small;"> and take <span style="font-size: small;">responsibility</span> for my <span style="font-size: small;">apparen<span style="font-size: small;">t emotional we<span style="font-size: small;">a</span>kness?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SmKE9xdtPuc/Ty2ciZ78L6I/AAAAAAAAAJI/QoxOei2wXY8/s1600/solitude.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SmKE9xdtPuc/Ty2ciZ78L6I/AAAAAAAAAJI/QoxOei2wXY8/s320/solitude.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As I unraveled the details of dating Mr. Woods, trying
not to sound like a brainless tween in full gushing mode, Dr. Head sat quietly
(as she does) listening as I spiraled through my litany of justifications as to why I KNEW I shouldn’t
be happy. I <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2222830272095811670" name="_GoBack"></a>admitted that I knew better than to use Mr.
Wood’s swe<span style="font-size: small;">et</span> kindness to cure me of my gloom and that I knew it was wrong to soothe
my battered self esteem with the <span style="font-size: small;">warmth from his tender </span>touch, blah blah blah… As I paused to
inhale and conjure more intellectual rationalizations Dr. Head interjected her
insight, enabling me to see a new truth, the truth that assholes in my life ARE
to blame for making me sad when they project their assholeness onto me, and if
someone makes me happy then Hooray celebrate it, don’t poo poo it and devalue my
gleefulness as an “easy fix”. After she
said it, it all seemed so simple, so logical, and my eyes welled up releasing
heavy wet tears as the weight of full control over my emotional responsibility
floated out of my body. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/bigstock_Happiness_500288.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/bigstock_Happiness_500288.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So here I am accepting my cheery disposition and not concerning
myself as to who is doing the heavy lifting to get me there. Maybe it’s me,
maybe it’s a whole bunch of people who are in my life, maybe it’s a yummy combo
of both, but it really doesn’t matter ….. and so continues my new practice of
just letting go and enjoying the ride.</span></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-74488367264265866282012-10-13T12:26:00.000-04:002012-10-13T12:30:01.288-04:00Loosening the Reins<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="http://lisadearingphotography.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/photos_of_wild_horses0002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://lisadearingphotography.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/photos_of_wild_horses0002.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">During the past two months of talking with Dr. Head she
has mostly confirmed what I already knew but what I didn’t know is that it’s Ok
to just let things ride. Sit back, disengage and maybe just maybe things /
people won’t fall to pieces, and if they do, well then that’s what happens. It’s
such a new way to live, so utterly freeing and remarkably stress reducing. From
the outside it may sound selfish or even a bit assholery (I do struggle with
that a little, the fine line between self renewal and being a dick, but it’s a
process), but the lightness that has flowed into me after feeling so weighed
down and overwhelmed is worth any small grain of guilt that still bubbles to
the surface. Last week Dr. Head even admitted through her usually well fortified
shield of non-emotional attachment to me that, “I don’t know if it is an emotional
or chemical change but in talking with you, you have a genuine happiness.” and she
grinned widely. YES, Dr. Head, the ME is returning…. <i>poco a poco.</i><i><span style="font-style: normal;"></span></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-style: normal;">I ascribe this return to ME not
only to Dr. Head’s gentle assistance (and my work) but also to a week that was
filled with a heaping load of good times with good friends and the return of
Mr. Woods. My week of drinks and food, laughs, hugs, fortifying emails and bracing
face book comments was perfection, and not a tear was shed. Emotions appear to
be equaling out and I can once again enjoy the warm love and support that flows
in my direction without weeping at a midtown deli counter. </span></i></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="http://www.skylarhughes.com/files/gimgs/36_the-swimmer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://www.skylarhughes.com/files/gimgs/36_the-swimmer.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-style: normal;">The return of Mr. Woods initially
brought a sense of unrest, confusion and a general feeling of WTF is going
on??!! (<a href="http://noslaw.blogspot.com/2012/10/its-fine-line.html" target="_blank">see last post</a>). As our third date approached my mounting assumptions
that our little “thing” was dead in the water increased to such a degree that I
was exchanging emails with a new suitor on OkCupid just 10 minutes before Mr.
Woods’ arrival. However, much to my surprise, a little real life face to face
time combined with his charm and a boat load of unsolicited apologies alleviated
all (ok most) of my internal freak out. Our evening was delightful and within a
few hours I was looking into his deep brown eyes stating, “I don’t want to go
on any more first dates, I only want to date you.” to which he answered, “You don’t
have to, I want that too.” Sure label me a fool for falling, showing all my
cards, allowing Mr. Woods’ charm to satiate my logical feelings of doubt, or
whatever, but what is my other choice? Stay guarded and untrusting? Just like
Dr. Head suggested, sit back and enjoy the ride and if shit falls apart, then
that’s what happens. So that’s what I’m trying to do, not holding on tightly,
not trying to figure out where this will go, or if it will go. I will accept
Mr. Woods’ words as the truth and try NOT to devalue everything my ears hear
and my body feels.</span></i></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-style: normal;">30 seconds after Mr. Woods left
my apartment I deleted my OkCupid profile and for the first time since 1999 I
am not actively engaged in the hunt for a first date. It’s new and scary but
this text from Mr. Woods quieted my internal vampire screams of “He’s using
you, it’s all a lie! Don’t fall for it! You are too exposed!”:</span></i></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“I'm still on a high from the other night...how did I go
a month without seeing you?!”</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-32463796362455887532012-10-04T12:29:00.000-04:002012-10-04T12:29:46.471-04:00It’s A Fine Line<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://loveandanthropology.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/man-and-woman-from-cernavoda-romania-c4000bc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="http://loveandanthropology.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/man-and-woman-from-cernavoda-romania-c4000bc.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For decades I have desperately attempted to navigate the
razor’s edge between being optimistic, laid back, open and accepting AND fully delusional
when it comes to the mystery that is man. I read blogs written by men and women
about men and women, thinking that maybe I’ll get some insight, some clues as
to how to happily traverse the bizarre world that is adult dating but I’m
always left feeling….. ummmm am I missing something?</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Over the past 30 days Mr. Woods and I enjoyed a fun sporadic
email exchange, some raunchy, some not, while he was overseas on business. We casually discussed things that we would like
to do upon his return to NYC and both acknowledged that we were excited to
reunite and continue seeing each other.
Well Mr. Woods has returned from abroad, resides in my city, works just blocks
from office, and is.... umm Mr. Woods, hello? Hello Mr. Woods, you there?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_TFSGsRRvCP8/Swf2jzklxeI/AAAAAAAACAY/ouqTOI32xSs/s1600/Walk+in+New+York+-+Vintage+-+Postcard+-+Park+Avenue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_TFSGsRRvCP8/Swf2jzklxeI/AAAAAAAACAY/ouqTOI32xSs/s320/Walk+in+New+York+-+Vintage+-+Postcard+-+Park+Avenue.jpg" width="320" /></a> Since Monday I have been receiving random emails that state
things like, </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Hey what’s new with you? Been really busy here.”,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“What’s going
on? I’ve been slammed at work.” ,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“What are you up to? I’m still trying to get
back into the fast city pace, so much to catch up on.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and usually end with “Hey
I can’t wait to see you!” Well Mr. Woods it’s actually REALLY <span style="font-size: small;">easy to see me just
exit your office turn left and walk six blocks – ta da there I am! While
in Zürich he suggested that we meet for lunch since we worked so close to each
other and it would be a nice mid-day break to meet up…. Ohhh sweetness. But now
I feel like reaching through my gmail screen grabbing his throat and screaming
out JUST ASK ME OUT MOTHER FUCKER – I am here, RIGHT HERE you know I’m
interested and we are in the same city so we can STOP emailing and just see
each other! But what I end up writing is (cause I’m trying to restrict my downward
spiral into crazytown), “Hi Ya! Everything is great, (blah blah blah), got a new hair cut, (blah
blah blah…). (Insert something funny.) Then close with – “Catch up on that work
quickly so that we can hang out.” Or “So
looking to forward to seeing you too, hope you’ve gotten over your jet lag.” or
“I can’t wait to see you too, good thing you made it back for Octoberfest.” –
yeah, I’ll write ANYTHING to let him know that 1 – I’m cool and not needy and 2 – YES I WANT TO SEE YOU, really I do,
seriously, in the real world, you name the date and time and I will be there. However
instead of receiving romantic date info what I get is another Mr. Woods email stating,
“That sounds great, we should do that!” or “Would love to see your new hair
cut!”….. ughhhh not “should” or “would” – just DO it, or not, don’t do it, that’s
Ok too. If I never see Mr. Woods again that’s cool too but this in the middle
shit is lame ass.</span> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/2483529796/r3zica7tbdrev9o56zet.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/2483529796/r3zica7tbdrev9o56zet.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">And because I am a
women who never wants to be labeled as “that crazy bitch” - cause maybe he does really want to see me
but his schedule is tight right now - I
feel that I have to remain open and enthusiastic to these ridiculous electronic
missives while continuing to reinforce in clear language (so that I’m not
accused of forcing men to read my mind) that I am romantically interested and
DO want to date him. BUT this is the razor’s edge, am I being confidently optimistic
while accepting his time limitations or am I escaping the reality that he’s
just not into me (which is fine) but how does one know without being perceived as
a clingy psycho chick?</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh and side note you would think I would get extra points
since Mr. Woods KNOWS (from our past two dates) that if he takes me out I’m a
sure thing. And not just a “sure” thing, but a kick ass fun time sure thing.
Seriously I’m a chick who drinks fancy beer with the sex drive of a 16 year old
gay boy who doesn’t want to be married and lives alone with no kids; this
should be a no brainer Mr. Woods. Get on it!</span></span></div>
<br />Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2222830272095811670.post-13435163252806458382012-09-21T11:18:00.000-04:002012-09-21T11:18:34.338-04:00Not So Really Real<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In the past I sang Swason’s praises for her fierce grasp of
reality and her unwavering commitment to telling me the truth, however that
woman is a black and white cookie of cerebral dichotomy because she is also the
BESTEST pal for engaging in, and collaborating with, my super reality or as
some may call it – fantasy world. </span></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=17275708" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=17275708" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our adjusted realities stem from the fact that we both still
harbor a bit of our 12 year old pink sparkly sticker collecting/ friendship bracelet
making girl just under our savvy city lady outer shell (sorry Swason if I am
writing out of turn, however I believe you will agree with me here) and when we
unite in a dork-fest fueled with wine (or not) we quickly break through our jaded
all-knowing logical crust and delight in our combined powers of modified
universe creation</span></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.aspectintl.com/_userimages/Chalet_summer_generic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://www.aspectintl.com/_userimages/Chalet_summer_generic.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Swason is currently indulging my revised reality that I’m
only one call away from Lufthansa ‘s reservations desk to becoming a trophy
wife of an international banker stationed in Zurich. There I am sipping red
wine and feasting on exotic cheeses while peacefully lounging on the deck of my
Alpine chalet as I spend my lazy days transferring my harmonica virtuosity for
that of the alpenhorn. I won’t share Swason’s ‘reality’ with my readers but suffice
to say that not only do I need to purchase a parka for my mountain top hideaway,
Swason has informed me to start shopping for cowboy boots because her Texan
wedding is gonna ROCK it! </span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Geehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102302104335320729noreply@blogger.com0