Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Waiting For the Phone to Ring

I placed my call for help to three head shrinkers and now I impatiently await a reply and hopefully a purgefest of all this gray goopyness.

As I wait I have taken a few steps to stem back the tide of emotional malaise and promote forward movement:

1 – I removed ALL Adele tunes from my ipod, damn that woman knows how to poke at a sore spot, and I replaced her tracks with The Olympic Theme. I pity the person who can feel stagnant when those trumpets blow; glad I haven’t gotten to that point yet.

2- I’m back at the gym, “they” say that being active organically stimulates your endorphins. I don’t know about that but I do know that for an hour my hatred of my Boot Camp instructor gives my emotional overload a new target of obsession.

3- I made a very adult decision last night to NOT buy a brownie and drink the fancy beer that is store housed in my fridge – even though I wanted it badly. I have never been an emotional eater or drinker so I thought I shouldn’t start now, one less thing to discuss with the head shrinker.  Even though I was able to fend off the urge to engage my digestive system to numb out my head, I did hit up Zappos and bought four pairs of shiny black 4” heels. Don’t judge readers, I’m SICK…. I have to self soothe somehow.

However even after laying all this powerful groundwork I still  find myself slowly releasing big soft heavy wet tears onto my desktop each time I read a loving text, email, and/ or Facebook comment from my so supportive pals. Crap I don’t even need that sentimental stimulus; I was tearing up at the Korean deli yesterday afternoon ordering a tuna wrap. NOBODY should be crying when ordering a tuna wrap, that is most pathetic. Now I am totally regretting that brownie decision, a brownie would never allow such a public display of unhappiness.

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