Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Fountain Of Youth?

Less than a week ago Al Roker was issuing a frost warning for the greater metropolitan area and today the mercury spiked to a toasty 95 degrees, thanks global warming! With the warmer temps comes evenings of cool spring breezes wafting through my windows as I snuggle down for the night and float softly into deep slumber. Wow that does sound lovely however my actual bedtime routine during the warmer weather months is filled with the sounds of gangs of children rampaging below my bedroom window, screeching and crying.

Summer 1998 was my first encounter with the demons that inhabit the run down wreck of a house across the street. It was about 12:30 am and as I laid my head onto my downy soft pillow the slaying of the innocents began. Outside my window I heard children all under the age of 6 whaling as if their entire family was set aflame. I flew to the open window to spy the offending condition but all I discovered below was 3 adults yelling at a pack of diaper clad toddlers and big wheel operators careening down the sidewalk screaming in joy/ horror/ pain….who the hell knows. This exercise in insanity continued for over an hour that evening and continued EVERY night there after – until the first frost. And when I say every night, it has been EVERY warm evening since 1998. I forget about the children of the night once the city heat beats me into submission and the cool fresh breezes are replaced by the white noise of my air conditioner but during these in between times I am haunted by Satan’s spawn who have never AGED! Yes eleven years later these children are still children, it’s like a spiteful Peter Pan lives across street with his pack of lost boys who only come out to play between the hours of 11:30 pm and 1am. Maybe they are vampire babies?

1 comment:

SCHRECK! said...

I think you should just throw down a bucket of water, preferably boiling, down on them. At least the ambiguity of the screaming will be gone...