I continued my gay-fest last week by tagging along with Jesus to a very festive Gray Gardens house party up in Harlem. Not only did these boys have pitchers of frozen margaritas flowing all afternoon they also served a revolving buffet of delicious delicacies that miraculously appeared within arms reach as Jesus and I sunk further into the leather couch and morphed into the local Big and Little Edie. For about 4 hours Jesus and I sat captivated by both the screening of the documentary and the HBO feature while our emotions ricocheted between hysterics, depression, and disgust. I was not as disturbed as others by the proliferation of feline feces in the home however I did take issue with Big Edie cooking corn on the cob on a hotplate in her BED.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the documentary:
Edith 'Little Edie' Bouvier Beale: If you can't get a man to propose to you, you might as well be dead.
Edith 'Little Edie' Bouvier Beale: This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand. Because I don't like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for today.
Edith 'Little Edie' Bouvier Beale: You can't have your cake and eat it, too in life. Edith 'Big Edie' Bouvier Beale: Oh, yes, I did. I did, I had my cake, loved it, masticated it, chewed it and had everything I wanted.
[Little Edie is reading from her astrology book] Edith 'Little Edie' Bouvier Beale: "The Libra husband is reasonable. He is a born judge, and no other zodiacal type can order his life with so much wisdom." God! That's all I need: order! That's all I need: an ordered life. You know, a manager. But he's *got* to be a Libran.
Lastly I would like to place Hillary Clinton on notice. Today while I was “regretfully” replying “No” to an invitation to a black tie event at the State Department the SUPER extra thick stationary attacked me. Yes as I gingerly dragged my tongue across the minty adhesive on the reply envelope the edge slit my lip. Nice going federal government. Well I guess it’s a good thing that they are sponsoring 65% of my COBRA payment, I’m gonna need an antiseptic salve.
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