Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Love Being Manhandled

The city is a buzz with excitement over Thanksgiving and it’s kinda fun to be smack dab in the middle of all the hub bub. Well I am sure this holly jolly feeling will ebb with the onslaught of tourists gawking at the glistening Yule erected just yards from my office, but for now I am alight with the spirit.

Yesterday on my walk to Dr. Pico…ahhhh Dr. Pico…. I was overwhelmed by the several hundred “All American Cheerleaders “who were moving en mass down the avenue. These perky HS’ers decked out in their Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade red and yellow jackets looked like pig tailed mini Ronald Macdonalds swarming through the crowded streets. They were all a twitter with squeals as they passed such iconic sites as Radio City Music Hall, Rockefeller Center, and every SINGLE hot dog vender along my 10 block trek. I tried to escape them but they were everywhere, both sides of street, all walking towards me. They, like so many out of towners, could not fathom moving to the RIGHT so about every 10 feet I was toe to toe with a doe eyed 16 year old frozen in place as I tried to syche her out with my amazing zig zagging NYC sidewalk skills.

Once at Dr. Pico’s oasis of joy I happily handed over my $27 for 5 minutes of complete and utter jello inducing adjustments. My favorite juxtaposition is when I lay on my side and the Dr. instructs me to, “Go to your happy place and let me do the rest”…..yes ….yes I will. Then as I reach complete relaxation ccCCCRRRUUNCCCCHHHHhhhhh – YIKES! It’s like frightening and relaxing all at the same time.

The day continued as a G love fest (well that’s what I like to think) when I shelled out more cash for relative strangers to service me at my hair salon. Yes a REAL hair salon with professionals. My washer chick really worked for her $3 tip (hey it’s Queens) as she massaged my head with minty fresh shampoo. She manipulated my noggin so well that I became almost comatose as I felt my jaw drop open and I experienced what I thought was the sensation of my grey matter drooling out over my lower lip. Unfortunately I was abruptly jolted from my moment of bliss by the vision of a local thug donned in a black hoodie and saggy pants being slammed up against the salon window and swiftly cuffed behind the back. What once was moments ago a bad ass purse stealing juvenile delinquent was now a squishy faced perp who was being silently admonished by a salon full of coiffed ladies and gays slowing shaking their heads in disapproval. He looked rather relieved when the undercover officers finally peeled his face off the glass leaving only a greasy stain and some slobber behind.

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