Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Let’s Play Smut or Sass

This week my YMCA fitness classes have undergone a drastic change in participant demographic, we have GUYS! What the what? And I am talking CUTE guys, like tall stocky uncoordinated dude love muffins. This Y chromosome addition is a blessing and a curse. Blessing = adorable, curse = there is NO way I can flirt looking like a Hot Mess!

In addition to looking like a freak show, last night I really sealed the deal of presenting myself as an “untouchable” by opening my sass mouth and sharing with our co-ed class what MAY have been a bit inappropriate.

During class there are a few young ladies who talk/ respond to the instructor with humorous shout outs and heckles, and when I have an extra ounce of lung capacity I have been known to add my two cents, i.e. Instructor to class: “Are you feeling that in your LEGS yet?!!, Me: “Legs? I am feeling it EVERYWHERE!” – oh so Catskills of me. But last night as Perky Bottom (aka instructor) was flipping a new CD into the boom box she paused to inform us of the YMCA’s Valentine’s Day Dance (seriously, how cute is that?). After reading off the deets from the posting a women yelled out, “What’s the dress code?” and as Perky Bottom skimmed the flyer I helpfully interjected, “Sweaty or non- sweaty? Well really it should just be sweaty cause if all goes well you are gonna end up that way later in the evening. Hehehehe….” Yeah ya see that comment would have been sassy within a gaggle of women, BUT I think it read SMUTTY to our brothers in the back of the room. Ummm, predator much Gail?

Then as if that wasn’t enough, for some reason during “stretch” Perky Bottom got onto the subject of cupcakes. As us ladies tugged at our shins and chimed in with our reviews and preferences, mine being a 80 – 20 split of cake to frosting, Perky Bottom looked over at me and proclaimed, “I would lick the frosting off your cupcakes”…. and we are done.

Fingers crossed that my membership hasn’t been revoked for inciting lewdness.

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