And You Are Here For…..?

Please allow me to begin this posting with a gut wrenching UGHHHHH, Christ on a cracker!!!! Insert raised shaken fist – and boy do I know where I would like to insert that fist.

First on my list of “if you weren’t sitting behind that bullet proof glass I would kill you” is the numb nut receptionist at my new GP’s (doctor’s) office. This physician whom I recently tapped as my GP,after years of neglecting my general health, ran a full physical exam, submitted my blood work to the lab, and requested that I see 4 specialists to check out some other random health related issues (see: alien baby growing in my scalp). In one month’s time I was to return for a detailed health analysis thereby fulfilling my personal oath to enter my 40’s with a medical baseline. Unfortunately what I did not take into account when I made my appointment 30 days ago was that my doctor (and her staff) was/were ASHOLES!

In just 3 weeks I saw the audiologist, dermatologist, gynecologist and radiologist. My test results were forwarded to my GP and oh boy was I excited to have a real sit down chat with my new doc. Being me, I called the office on Monday confirmed my Friday 3pm appointment and informed my employer that I would need to take a half day to attend to my health.

I arrived at the doc at 2:45 (early as per me), signed in, and took a seat. At 3:30 the receptionist called my name and shouted through the bullet proof glass, “DO YOU HAVE AN APPOITMENT”. Confused I answered, “Yes, 3pm”. Numb nut, “For what?” I think we all know where this question and answerer exchange was going. Yep after numb nut explained that not only did I NOT have an appointment but they NEVER take appointments, I freaked out. Turns out the practice functioned like a walk in clinic and I was informed that it would only be another 1.5 hours until the doctor could see me. WTF!!!! I asked if the doctor could call with my lab results and was told, “We don’t do that”. I then asked why they didn’t tell me a month ago when I MADE the appointment or on Monday when I confirmed the appointment that they didn’t take appointments – numb nut said, “Well it’s a not like it’s a problem, you can just wait”. It was a problem, I took off a half day of work AND I had to be on a train at 4:35, Ughhhh!!!! I ended the confrontation by yelling “Would you at least call me if my labs showed something? I guess I don’t have diabetes or an STD? How was my mammogram and chest x-ray? Asthma, breast cancer?” Numb nut - “Well yeah, I guess you’re Ok”.

Unfortunately my grand sweeping storming out of the packed waiting room was anticlimactic since the exit door is also the elevator door which remained closed for what seemed to be a very uncomfortable eternity.

Now it’s back to the beginning. I’m searching for a new GP who can interpret my lab results and partner with me in a life of good health. Oh and TAKE APPOINTMENTS!