Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Seattle Ed.; The Road Less Traveled

We turned left and off into the unknown we sped. With my blessing Scooter reclined his seat to nap as I sang along to the greatest hits of 80’s new wave and watched as the bright yellow sun was replaced by a gray sky and rolling fog. This was an omen.

Within 30 minutes we were coasting along a rocky bluff lined with tall trees. The Pacific Ocean was out there, somewhere, for I could spot it sporadically between the firs. Scooter snored next to me; it would be a shame to wake him now, not like he was missing anything. I kept driving west until by surprise I glanced down at my dashboard compass to see that we were now heading south, we had hit the end of North America! So south I drove, still with no sight of the ocean to my right or much of anything else except trees. After about an hour I woke Scooter hoping he would have some insight regarding our dinner local. It was now after 7pm and the last thing we ate was that Jack In The Box 8 hours prior (yep I knew I should have ordered more than the egg and cheese biscuit).

Up and onto the blackberry, Scooter assured me that we were just 20 miles away from Amanda Parks and Google said that we would find some local eats. I guess we must have driven through Amanda Parks at some point because the next sign we spotted said, “Humptulips 17m” – so off to Humptulips we went. Humptulips consisted of a trailer parked on the gravely shoulder of Rt. 101 with a colorful local taking a nap alongside…we didn’t even slow down. Hoquiam was our next target and only another 20 miles away. Scooter sensing my downward spiral into the hangries (that’s hungry and angry) reached for the half eaten bag of Bar - B- Q chips and wedged it between my right thigh and the center console. Happily contented with the chips, a warm bottle of spring water and 1/2 a cookie I continued our drive ever southward.

Hoquiam was a hot bed of activity with traffic lights and everything! Scooter would not have to to eat my cold dead carcass after I had passed from starvation - We were saved! However it’s odd the things you discover about your lifelong friends along a long road trip - like the fact that Scooter is terrified of questionable eating establishments. I pulled into at least 4 different restaurants (term used very loosely) while Scooter screamed “DON”T STOP….DON’T STOP!!!!”. At one point he was almost in tears as I circled ‘round a parking lot, pleading with me, “Please don’t make me go in there….please”. So at about 9pm we left Hoquiam with Scooter’s sanity dangling loosely by a thread and entered Aberdeen.

Ah Aberdeen the land of milk and honey and a DENNY’S! Now readers please insert every small town white trash stereotype you can imagine and apply it here. Even with a full day of adventure funk hanging on us we were still the best looking duo in the joint (or the town).

Fueled up with good ol’ fried chain food we were on the road again just before 10pm with only another 110 miles to go. Yep there is a reason it's called the road less traveled, cause why would ANYBODY travel this road?!

I braced myself for another 2 hours of driving while Scooter TRIED to be a good passenger and entertain me. It was painful watching him force his eyelids open – so being the compassionate friend that I am I gave my consent to nap time with a promise that I would revive him when we arrived in Olympia.

Olympia passed and so did Tacoma with Scooter snoring peacefully next to me. About 30 minutes outside of Seattle city limits I realized immediately that I needed a pit stop so I jerked the car off Rt. 5 in search of anything with indoor plumbing. Funny how at 11:30pm on a Saturday night the only thing open is Wal-Mart, yes Wal-Mart. I don’t go to Wal-Mart, actually I have NEVER been inside a Wal-Mart, I am very anti Wal-Mart but I thought using their facilities would not compromise my social morals.

Inside the cavernous Mecca of capitalism bursting with 3rd world slave workers’ products I was stunned by the teeming throngs of families lined up at the 10 open registers – really, really? But the bathroom was clean and Scooter took the opportunity to stock up on T shirts and socks. Wow what a Saturday night out on the town, Denny’s AND Wal-Mart!

No comments: