Thursday, February 21, 2013

Lub –Dub Lub –Dub

First let me quell all your fears with good news regarding my pesky nodes. After what was a harrowing and extremely painful biopsy the report showed NO signs of anything toxic just some lumps with nothing to do. Sweets was a champ throughout the procedure (pre and post); holding my hand, stroking my hair, and reading to me in bed as my neck swelled and pulsed with pain. The happiness and relief I felt just having him beside me drained the fear and rested my worries.

Two days after the needle to the neck I was off to Jamaica with Mom on what was to be one of the most relaxing vacations I’ve had in a long time. Mom promised not to stress me out and to take responsibility for EVERYTHING. My instructions were merely to “Pack a bag, grab your passport, and meet me at the airport”. In 6 days I tanned up my saggy bacon, had two spa treatments, biked several miles and filled my belly with fresh fruits and seafood. Oh and there was wine, lots of wine.

I returned to the city within 25 hours of Valentine’s Day with no expectations of any celebratory action, sure it would be delightful to have a Valentine (other than a gay guy, a gal pal, or my mom) BUT I was totally Zen about the entire situation. As Sweets and I celebrated my return to NYC and my clean bill of health at The Brindle Room he reached across our candlelit table, took my hand and said, “I know I should have brought this up earlier but, do you have plans for tomorrow?”  My face lit up and I shook my head no as my grin exposed my inner joy at having a REAL Valentine for the first time in my 42 years.

The next night Sweets cooked dinner at my apartment as I scurried around, pushing my unpacked suitcase under the side table, giving the bathroom a quick once over, and lighting every pink and red candle that I could find. We feasted and flirted and drank rich red wine that made my head spin and the giggles come easily. In the flickering amber candle light Sweets’ crimson hair glistened and his blue eyes deepened and I thought, this is exactly where I want to be right now.
Valentine’s night also hosted my last Dr. Head appointment. I had been weaning off of her since mid-December and by late January I felt that I had nothing left to say. After vacationing with my mom, surviving another stressful health scare and dating a new guy while feeling utterly in control of my emotions and exceedingly happy I knew I had healed and returned to the original Gee. I leave Dr. Head with new coping skills, insight and knowledge, not only about me but others in my life as well and how to more easily navigate through the maze of my personal universe.

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