It’s A Fine Line

For decades I have desperately attempted to navigate the razor’s edge between being optimistic, laid back, open and accepting AND fully delusional when it comes to the mystery that is man. I read blogs written by men and women about men and women, thinking that maybe I’ll get some insight, some clues as to how to happily traverse the bizarre world that is adult dating but I’m always left feeling….. ummmm am I missing something?

Over the past 30 days Mr. Woods and I enjoyed a fun sporadic email exchange, some raunchy, some not, while he was overseas on business.  We casually discussed things that we would like to do upon his return to NYC and both acknowledged that we were excited to reunite and continue seeing each other.  Well Mr. Woods has returned from abroad, resides in my city, works just blocks from office, and is.... umm Mr. Woods, hello? Hello Mr. Woods, you there?

 Since Monday I have been receiving random emails that state things like, 

“Hey what’s new with you? Been really busy here.”,

“What’s going on? I’ve been slammed at work.” ,

“What are you up to? I’m still trying to get back into the fast city pace, so much to catch up on.” 

and usually end with “Hey I can’t wait to see you!” Well Mr. Woods it’s actually REALLY easy to see me just exit your office turn left and walk six blocks – ta da there I am! While in Zürich he suggested that we meet for lunch since we worked so close to each other and it would be a nice mid-day break to meet up…. Ohhh sweetness. But now I feel like reaching through my gmail screen grabbing his throat and screaming out JUST ASK ME OUT MOTHER FUCKER – I am here, RIGHT HERE you know I’m interested and we are in the same city so we can STOP emailing and just see each other! But what I end up writing is (cause I’m trying to restrict my downward spiral into crazytown), “Hi Ya! Everything is great,  (blah blah blah), got a new hair cut, (blah blah blah…). (Insert something funny.) Then close with – “Catch up on that work quickly so that we can hang out.” Or  “So looking to forward to seeing you too, hope you’ve gotten over your jet lag.” or “I can’t wait to see you too, good thing you made it back for Octoberfest.” – yeah, I’ll write ANYTHING to let him know that 1 – I’m cool and not needy  and 2 – YES I WANT TO SEE YOU, really I do, seriously, in the real world, you name the date and time and I will be there. However instead of receiving romantic date info what I get is another Mr. Woods email stating, “That sounds great, we should do that!” or “Would love to see your new hair cut!”….. ughhhh not “should” or “would” – just DO it, or not, don’t do it, that’s Ok too. If I never see Mr. Woods again that’s cool too but this in the middle shit is lame ass.  

And because I am a women who never wants to be labeled as “that crazy bitch”  - cause maybe he does really want to see me but his schedule is tight right now  - I feel that I have to remain open and enthusiastic to these ridiculous electronic missives while continuing to reinforce in clear language (so that I’m not accused of forcing men to read my mind) that I am romantically interested and DO want to date him. BUT this is the razor’s edge, am I being confidently optimistic while accepting his time limitations or am I escaping the reality that he’s just not into me (which is fine) but how does one know without being perceived as a clingy psycho chick?

Oh and side note you would think I would get extra points since Mr. Woods KNOWS (from our past two dates) that if he takes me out I’m a sure thing. And not just a “sure” thing, but a kick ass fun time sure thing. Seriously I’m a chick who drinks fancy beer with the sex drive of a 16 year old gay boy who doesn’t want to be married and lives alone with no kids; this should be a no brainer Mr. Woods. Get on it!