My AMC weekend at Fire Island was joyful, inspiring and just
a good old kick ass time with a bunch of people who DO stuff. There were a
dozen adventurers however these people were SO active I felt like a lazy nub in
a swamp, good thing I at least had my recent 10k victory to add to the accomplishments
pile cause otherwise I would have been low lady on the amazing persons totem
pole. By the end of the weekend I gained a few more friends, was not presented
with ONE summons for the various and innumerable misdemeanors I committed and I
also had some bad ass raw inner thumbs from killing it like an Olympic rower in
the kayak.
Next up was my first AMC hike in Harriman, it was a
gloomy gray day but warm so I pulled on my hiking skirt, deet-ed up and headed
on out with great expectations of meeting another set of powerful happy people.
Well let’s just say THIS group of AMCers were a little too over confident in
their athletic abilities to handle a such a hike and MUCH too underprepared to remain
jolly – oh well they all can’t be winners. BUT I did get to flirt with the burly
bartender/ outdoorsman group leader for 6 hours and I made a new outdoorsy friend
who, like me, is an overachieving newbee wanna do everything action girl.
After the hike I contacted both Mr. Leader and Action
Girl, guess which one wanted to see more of me? Yeah, Mr. Leader… not so much.
Anyways Action Girl invited me on a 25 mile bike ride along the Old Croton Aqueduct
on Oct. 27th to which I instinctively typed “YES I will do that!” then
immediately bought a bike, bike tights, gloves, helmet, jacket, etc… and
started riding. Those of you who KNOW me know that all I need is the suggestion
of an action for me to get on board and DO it. One of my other AMC palls responded
to my admission of being susceptible to gentle suggestion with, “I’ll invite
you on a horseback riding and homemade whiskey hike, you'll need a horse, waspy
gear and a peat bog!” Damn my kitchen is gonna be tight with my bike AND a
pony.
The two internet dates/ meetings were not even worth my
lip gloss application. Both men fell head over heels in LUST for me the moment my
gams crossed the room. One thought it best to lead with talk of his penis girth
while the other just threw caution to the wind and thrust his hand up my skirt
and into my crotch. His explanation, he likes to “live in the moment” oh and I
was so hot he couldn’t help himself. Now that’s a way to romance a lady. Penis
Girth really sealed the deal when he took a call from his mother while I was in
the WC so when I returned I was present for his profanity filled regret to his
Mother’s invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. I love a man who screams at his
mother at a bar – HOT! After hanging up he paused and asked, “So I guess my chances
of making out with you right now are kinda low, right?”
There is hope on the horizon, as there always is in my Pollyanna
sunshine filled optimistic world, Melba has a cute co-worker buddy (black hair/
blue eyes… yummmm) that she is trying to convince to call me – unfortunately my
Facebook awesomeness has less than inspired him to reach out. I gotta start
posting photos of me enjoying a chocolate shake and cheeseburger on my couch…
not so daunting. AND one of my Mom’s yenta friends has given my number to a
local newly divorced friend of the family in hopes that she scores a match, she
has done this before with no result, but maybe this time……
Back to my not a hike yesterday. After gearing up and arriving
at Port Authority 45 minutes before
my scheduled bus departure I somehow never
boarded a bus. Yep me and a troupe of 3 others waited and waited and then
waited some more for the 8:15am to Nyack but it never showed. Of course
Adventure Girl was waiting for me in Nyack but even after I explained that
NOBODY got on the bus I think she assumed I was a numb nut and began to second
guess our burgeoning friendship. Proof of my ding-a-ling status, last night she
sent me an email with detailed instructions regarding how to access Grand
Central Terminal along with the train schedule and an offer to help in any way
she can if I have trouble with navigating the train system. GOOD LORD how did I
mess this up? I AM THE TRANSIT QUEEN! Damn I am gonna have to be a super star
on Sunday. Maybe I should bake cookies?
