I wish I could share with you all the co-op application/ house-buying
insanity that has infiltrated my life however since I have about a half dozen
agencies searching my background with a lice comb (NO co-op board I do not have
lice or bed bugs or any parasites I’m just funny… ya see funny. But quiet and
boring. Ok not funny at all and very unentertaining. Actually I never entertain;
I mean who comes to Queens anyways. Well except for me and all of you board members
cyber stalking me because Queens ROCKS! I love Queens.. oh PLEASE let me live
here.…. Ughhhh).
The home buying process has dampened my summertime fun
jam but I know there will be another summer in 8 months and if all goes to plan
I will be rocking (yet again, very quietly.. I don’t rock loudly or inconsiderately)
my new apartment building’s swimming pool and BBQ deck like a regular property
share holder.
Because of my crazy I have removed myself from the general
populace for the past several months cause really – nobody wants any of this.
However I did spend a few weekends out East at Chez Mom where we dined and
drank copious amounts of wine (in a very demure Hampton setting – NOT that kind
of Kardashian Hamptons, more like old lady
I volunteer at the community food pantry Hamptons – crap I am never passing
this board application). Talking about wine, my sometimes squatter/ fun time
pall Friday (ok co-op board.. I get it… never mind… just feed my application into
the shredder) has not only secured a full time gig but also got himself a swank
SoHo apartment (MOTHER F-er!) after only 2 days of house hunting – I think I used
that MOTHER F-er! too early in the sentence, it would have worked better here -
and as par for the course he is already pulling away. Well it was a nice 11
months and thank you for NOT breaking up with me in August cause ya know… that’s
what guys I date do (did).
Hopefully my next update will not include a tale about
how on October 31st I moved my belongings into storage after losing my huge rent
controlled apartment and was living a very cozy life in a furnished room with 4
female FIT undergrads in Crown Heights.
In closing please see all these happy rainbows because if
you accept me as your neighbor and fellow share holder I will fart sunshine.
