Truthiness

Sweets and I are no longer dating. It’s been coming for a while, I sensed things were off following his Easter visit with his family but I tried not to dwell on his withdrawal and chalked it up to his overwhelming stress load. I worked hard at not stressing him out, probably too hard. Dating should not be that difficult, but even when I pointedly asked, “Do you still want to spend time with me? Because it really feels like there is an imbalance between us.” Sweets apologized and vowed that he truly did WANT to spend time with me and do all the fun things he posited during the cold dark winter months. So I stayed and believed in his plans of warm sun on our skin as we sailed to the private Connecticut island beaches. He spoke of grand plans for us together, all wonderful and filled with adventure but as the weeks of May and June flew by I saw Sweets less and less and when the weekends arrived with my heart and head filled with anticipation of all the riches I was promised  I was shockingly dumped into the pit of disappointment as my plan for a tumultuous weekend of good and plenty  revealed itself  for the reality that it was - alone time for me in Queens while Sweets escaped to regions beyond the state line. By the end of June, I knew, well I suspected, because the one thing I can never shake is my enthusiastic optimism, that I had been sold faulty goods.

I posed the question out right, I gave him the opportunity to come clean and tell me that he didn’t have space in in his life for me. It would be a hard pill to swallow but better to take the pill then to continue dating a man who could not / would not make any time for me. This is my blog so I’m going to toot my own horn now, I AM AMAZING TO DATE! I have two big dating wants, I want to have sexy time and I want to DO really fun things. Done. I don’t care about fidelity or commitment or a relationship, I don’t want to get married or have kids, crap damn it we never even said we were boyfriend and girlfriend – I don’t care. I never even asked Sweets to help paint my kitchen or install my 2 window AC units or even take a drive with me to Home Depot –  all I wanted him him to do was make time do the things HE WANTED TO DO with me . Long story longer Sweets realized his wrong doings, apologized and said that he didn’t want to stop dating me and that beyond a doubt wanted to do things with me just not all those things he talked about cause umm…. sometimes he runs his mouth without thinking.  OK that’s cool.  And I promised to lower my expectations and help with getting plans onto paper and facilitate the remainder of our Summer/ Fall adventure schedule. Whew all is swell, isn’t it nice to have a good adult check in and get our dating back on track! Now off with Sweets for the month of July while his kids are in town and we’ll reunite in August with my monthly planner in hand.

Oh it’s August, already? Great, we had a good break and now I can’t wait to get our schedule down in black and white, so much to do and see and …. Oh … what?
Last night Sweets dropped the truth hard, he was wrong, he thought he could make space for me but he can’t so he needed to breakup with me. There were clues it was gonna happen last night, small clues that I tried to contort into signs of happy good things to come, but in the end my nagging thought that the finale was near was the thought that rang true.

We walked and talked and laughed and reminisced about all the super fun that we shared over the past 7-8 months. I vented (which was good) and he apologized and we both agreed that I deserved better (funny that’s exactly what Mr. Invisible said when he broke up with me last Aug.). I was so ready for this breakup that no tears were shed until we spoke of the good times, that’s the difficult part for me, remembering all the GOOD, cause there was so much and I did so many new things, rock wall climbing, snowshoeing, hiking, camping, and because of Sweets’ enthusiasm and overwhelming support for my physical strength I feel that I could conquer anything so I began jogging and spinning and now stand up paddle boarding.

We are friends, we will be friends, we both care about each other and have such fun that to throw it all away now would be fool hardy. I did warn Sweets though now that we are friends and he’s a member of Team Gail (it takes a village)  he’s going  be called upon for services (he’s already promised to remove my air conditions) and also cause he’s a friend  I’m going to tell him when he’s being a dumb ass.

After burgers and beers we hugged and said we would hang out soon and I really hope we do, the guy doesn’t have the nick-name Sweets for no reason. I’m just glad that not only was he finally truthful to me but he was truthful to himself.