Sometimes Small Things Are Bigger Than Big Things

Several months ago while Sweets and I were dating he engaged a subway panhandler in conversation who announced to us, and the entire subway car, “Sometimes small things are bigger than big things”. At hearing this pronouncement the carload of city slickers took a moment in quiet introspection then joined together in a group smile because we all knew he was right.  Over the past few days my panhandler philosopher’s words have filled my head as I’ve celebrated my 43^rd birthday bathed in happy goodness pouring over me from some of the most unexpected sources.

Going into birthday week I had no plans to mark the day, the thought of a night home alone with champagne, BBQ and a cupcake was feeling perfectly cozy as the cold November weather settled in. However by Wednesday evening this solitary celebration plan was replaced with a Tapas Party due to the back to back texts of Gee birthday celebration enthusiasts, T-Bone, Swason and Friday.

As my birthday dawned I awoke at 5am because I wanted the longest 43^rd Birthday ever. I cooked a

hot breakfast, added spiked eggnog to my coffee, played Britney while shaking my bon bon, glued on long fake eyelashes, zipped up a new SHORT skirt (hey adventure legs), slid a hot red lipstick into my sequined purse then thought about all my accomplishments over the past 12 months. I reflected upon how much my head, heart and body have grown stronger and all the brilliant new experiences that I’ve enjoyed and conquered.  I left the house feeling like queen of the world and it was only 8:45am.

By midday my Facebook filled with birthday greetings from old friends far far away, close friends around the corner and a person or two who I was all, “Huh, I’m friends with you?” Facebook to me is one of those small things that is big, really big. Thinking back to when I started running the support I gained from my friends on Facebook inspired me to go stronger and harder and at times also overwhelmed my heart with warmth.

Loving birthday texts buzzed my phone throughout the day with wishes of happiness, power and adventure for the year to come, even Friday texted me with some sassy birthday business that made me blush and giggle like a tween. Then it happened, my mother called, she never calls, I don’t know why she doesn’t call on my Birthday but I had stopped caring years ago, but this year she called and that small thing was HUGE.

Evening came and with it my tapas and wine party at swank Cata. T-bone, Swason and Friday made for a wonderful threesome even though none of them had ever met before. We feasted and drank and drank and drank until our heads swirled and the patrons at the other tables rolled their eyes in disgust of our zealous merriment.

It was fun, it was lots of fun and as I sat there I couldn’t stop thinking about how so very lucky I was to have all of this. I tried not to gush but I was overflowing with the joy from an entire day of small things. I wanted to thank them, I wanted to thank everybody who had communicated with me throughout the day (and since the following days) but I couldn’t find the words to explain why all these seemingly small gestures were so tender (and Big) to me.

Later that night and into Saturday Friday and I extended the celebration. He is what I need now, what we share is easy and fun. He’s confident, relaxed, cultured, and overflowing with charm; he is also the only man who has ever asked to spend my birthday with me. Seriously, FRIDAY, the guy I met at a bar a few weeks ago is the ONLY man to remember my birthday and ask to celebrate it with me, i.e. small thing = BIG THING. I feel peaceful with Friday, he doesn’t need me to fill an empty space in him, I don’t need to act like the person he wants/ needs me to be, I can just be me and when I talk he doesn’t read into my words or create some odd alternative meanings he hears me and responds accordingly. When Friday touches me or when we cuddle there is no desperation in his hands, he doesn’t grab and grope as others have, as if I was the last woman on earth. With Friday it feels like we are both full people who are complementing each other. As I looked into his eyes Saturday morning I wanted to tell him all of this and how thankful I was but I knew I was on the razor’s edge of being sappy and also talking about “small things” when a guy is naked is NEVER a good idea.

I can’t remember a better November 22^nd due to the fact that all these small things were bigger than big things and I am so grateful to have so many generous friends.