Abracadabra

How do you make someone disappear from your life? How many contacts and messages and emails and photos must you delete before they are totally erased? With modern technology there is always one more step, one more “saved” addressed that just won’t go away after pressing that huge X in the upper corner. Each time I press it, each time I “confirm deletion” my heart breaks off another piece.

How long does it take for my throat not to tighten when I see that name in my “Most Contacted” or “Recommended Recipients” lists, and will it hurt even more when the name fades away to join the pile of invisible “Unused Contacts”?

There must be a service someplace that can wipe an entire system – a full history of a person’s existence in one’s life so that you can really have a clean slate. But then is that really what I want? If someone approached me this very minute and offered to take all these electronic memories away for five bucks, would I pay them? Or is there something in the back of my head that wants just one little corner of this person to exist , someplace hidden in my phone or my Gmail so that when I trip over it 10 years from now I smile and remember all the perfect beauty and hearty laughs.

Maybe it’s too early to empty my recycle bin….. I’ll do it tomorrow.